Award-winning horror author Michael Arnzen invites you to enter the “pentagramathlon” of his twisted imagination in this entertaining collection of disturbing, bizarre and darkly hilarious poems inspired by the wild weird world of sports.
Badminton with real birdies. Skeletal fearleaders shaking gory pompoms. Literal foot-balls.
SPORTUARY is a collection of poems that re-imagines sports in all kinds of twisted ways.
This second edition — made available exclusively for the Amazon Kindle from Mastication Publications — updates the impossible-to-find 1st version (from 2003) and features 34 poems and surreal illustrations by fantasy artist Marcia Borell.
“It is easy to see why many of Arnzen’s readers consider him a master of the macabre. Sportuary is…one hell of a fun read.” –Gary West, The Dream People magazine
“Employing haiku and free verse, Arnzen plumbs the depths of his aberrant, wonderful imagination and offers biting commentary on the shadowy side of athletics: swimmers mesmerized by hungry undertows and ping pong played with staring human eyes, referees getting their gruesome reward and badminton as played by lunatics…these poems are good!” –Tim Curran, Dark Krypt
Satan’s the Catcher
Killer, Musing at the Scrimmage Line
Really Really Badminton
t-shirt twirling red under black tires
The Dartful Lodger
Hellympic Sport Competitions
Evil Rodeo Clowns
Chariots of Fire
Volleyball Coach’s Revenge
Hot Buttered Chum
Here’s a sampler of poems from Sportuary for your reading pleasure. If for some reason you can’t read the excerpt below, visit scribd.com/Arnzen for this and other samples in downloadable pdf format. (You can also “look inside the book” on amazon.com).
First edition (ebook) published by CyberPulp Digital, 2003. Out of Print
Second edition (ebook) published by Mastication Publications, 2009. Available exclusively on the Amazon Kindle.