November 2009

(Just recovered this munged old post, and thought I’d share): 13 Furnishings You’ll Never Find at IKEA: http://j.mp/5Cht4x

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@johnklima is looking for previously published Science Fiction/Fantasy versions of fairy tales. Recommend them to him at: http://j.mp/pEjtu

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natekenyon Buy PRIME during the Apex Cyber Monday sale–30% off all orders today only. Enter code CYBERMONDAY on checkout! http://tiny.cc/YiR14

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@bruces “Robots for Animals”! Sounds like something you’d either see @nextnature http://www.nextnature.ne… or a protest sign in Futurama.

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Fictionwise Welcome to Cyber Monday! Get 45% off MultiFormat Titles & 45% Micropay Rebates on all Secure Titles at http://www.fictionwise.c… Today ONLY

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PopMatters Selling Out to Survive: We spoke with artists whose music has appeared in advertising to discover their motivation. http://bit.ly/8rU7Pz

via TweetMeme (retweeted on 8:51 AM, Nov 30th, 2009 via web)

New blog post: ‘Not Dead Yet: The Listmaniacal Archive’ at The Goreletter http://bit.ly/4JUKRz

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Monroeville Zombies Holiday Party at the Mall (incl photos with Zombie Santa): http://www.monroevillezo…

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Forgive the zombies, for they know not what they chew.

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Blacker Saturday: today’s the day when shadows go soul shopping among the bankrupt and forlorn. Happy Holidays!

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Finally saw new Star Trek. Feel old. Was won over when McCoy appeared. Blinded by lens flares in every shot. Wanted Scotty’s pal for a pet.

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My funny new @amazon listmania: Titles that Make You do A Double-Take: http://j.mp/7jL5xc

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LaphamsQuart Deja Vu Black Friday Special: The darkest days of the week, from Black Monday to Black Saturday. http://bit.ly/8Lu5VV

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@poxypigtails Is it “Brainberry”… or “Brainbury”? Both are good. (One sounds more like a disturbing breakfast cereal to me, however).

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RT @HorrorBlips Must watch: Sam Raimi Lost Film: ATTACK OF THE HELPING HAND http://bit.ly/8ih0DX

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RT @VampireFaust (c/o @kindertrauma) Horror Movies For Thanksgiving! http://bit.ly/4ChXpG Gobble Bloody Gobble, all.

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Contest Alert! Help celebrate my 20th Anniversary as a writer. Win rare Arnzenalia. DL Dec 13th. Info here: http://bit.ly/5hp71c

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Pls RT Arnzen 20th Anniversary Contest Alert! Deadline Dec 13th. Photos of rare prizes and freebie links here: http://bit.ly/5hp71c

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Just enjoyed Richard Howard’s “Ambient Morgue Music” at the great Weird Tales mag online: http://j.mp/8AYHXP

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jkcoi Stephen King plans a sequel to the Shining. http://www.guardian.co.u…

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It just occurred to me that Pat Benatar’s song “Hell is for Children” really must have traumatized her kids. On several levels.

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The aliens in your computer do not wish to be disturbed. RT @NataniaBarron Autocorrect just made me lol: department stores –> depart torso

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Domo, @kindertrauma. Domo.

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Then again, there’s the movie ‘ThanksKilling’ @amazon: http://bit.ly/8UGNw5

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Thanksgiving is that blessed time of year when we pause and reflect on the @eliroth holiday movie that could have been. Thx Grindhouse.

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Glad to hear IFC films are now available via @netflix (who should also add @theauteurs please!).

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The kindle update is exciting because the Kindle now reads pdf and rotates screen. See: http://bit.ly/7e4d98

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@amazon release Kindle Software Updates http://bit.ly/7e4d98

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Is gastroanatomeat a word? Because it should be.

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Writers, Artists, & Writer-Artists: Consider joining me in The Fiction Proj@arthouseouse! http://arthousecoop.com/…

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Black Friday. Black Hole. Coincidence?

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LaphamsQuart “We dug up a corpse up with our hands…” @alexismadrigal Body snatching for science! http://bit.ly/7VYu1z

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Try The Great Game — the illustrated story where you determine where author Tim Dedopulos takes the story: http://ghostwoods.com/gr…

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mubi is now showing for free 3 wildly surreal Luis Buñuel films in the US, including the newly restored DEATH IN THE GARDEN: http://ow.ly/Fdus

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The Boris Karloff Blogathon has kicked off to honor BK’s birthday (real, not reanimated): http://frankensteinia.bl…

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EDLCNM…EDLCNM…Evil Demon Likes Cowriting Narrative Messages…nah. Couldn’t be….

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Over time, I have worn the letters E D L C N M off my keyboard. I’m sure something inside me is trying to communicate this way. But what?

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Toby Keith “wants to stick a boot up your ___.” And by the way: he’s gellin’. Contrary to popular belief, that does not help matters.

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Pittsburgh’s been naughty (not nice). TWO Evil Santa films coming to town in a horror realm double feature: http://www.horrorrealmco…

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RT @torforgeauthors @jeffvandermeer: Bizarro Fiction: Stout Hearts and Strong Stomachs http://bit.ly/7zgpJh

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I would remiss if I didn’t remind you that my ‘rare stuff’ contest ends in a week! See this link for deets + RT: http://bit.ly/88Ov5j

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What you call your crumpled up pillow case in the morning: snorigami.

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Amazon.com Kindle Store Bestsellers in Sociology of Sports: Sportuary is #12! Hah! Take THAT Don King: http://bit.ly/89fuLZ

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There were tentacles slickering in my sock drawer this morning. I laughed. None had managed to slide one on. Humans 1 : Nyarlots 0.

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I suppose book rental is like a library, which I understand. Except that the site is profiting in a way that a library doesn’t. Harumph.

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@cinriter Yeah, I saw a ‘book rental’ site yesterday (like Netflix for books)…Do folks realize we writers never see a dime of it?!

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@adeniro That’s so funny… I thought the same exact thing first time I saw the Twilight book covers.

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Time is running short to win rare Arnzen books, sounds, and art — easy! — see The Contestatorium in here: http://j.mp/88Ov5j

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@PiaVeleno It never gets easier, really. Every text has to sell itself. Keep the faith that it will, just as you did when you wrote it.

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@Poe71 the add you sent didn’t work, but http://johnftaylor.wordp… seemed to. I’ll try 2 post a comment there.

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Changed my profile pic @arthouse to a FREAKY one…let me know if it works! http://www.arthousecoop….

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Neat find: Vote for Best Cover of The Year and enter to win @amazon books! http://bit.ly/5aAnFy

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Just now noticed that twitter asks “What’s happening?” … to which the answer is always “Hey, HEY, Hey!”

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@RayGarton Who will replace Oprah? I recommend Tom Green from @tomgreenlive

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Any Sam Hazo fans out there? We are taking tax-deductible donations to the Sam Hazo Poetry Award at my college. DM me yr email for details.

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I hope none of you are tweeting while driving. Because I have two words for you: “Look out!”

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And so is my keyboard now, @RubyTombstone Your tweets are cracking me up.

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@david_hewson We adore ‘em too - pretty amazing netbooks. But I haven’t been writing much on it…keyboard is a bit cramped. Mouse is pain.

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Anyone know : Is it possible to report a twitter spammer without going to their profile?

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@David_N_Wilson For the Scribner contest tweet! And also sundry advice. Glad I follow ya.

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ScribnerBooks The two Steves - King and Spielberg - together at last http://tinyurl.com/ybyrh…

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Gracias to @David_N_Wilson twitterererer extrrerraorerrdinairerrre!

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RT @ScribnerBooks: TO WIN A MONSTER IN A BOX, signed by Ruth Rendell RT before 12noon on 11/20. You could be a winner!

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Starbucks only had red Xmas blends in the whole bean aisle. I ask: “Got anything besides Xmas?” They hand me Thanksgiving. This is the USA.

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@fangoriamag asks “Who’s making horror?” a) me; but, b) the devil made me do it; and, c) a deeper devil made HIM do it, ad infinitum.

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I re-extend my invite to join me in The Fiction Project! Art+fiction experiment: http://www.arthousecoop….

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Ebook tech trends parallel music’s shift from cd to mp3 AND TV’s change from b/w to color. But NY publshrs market books like Hollywood film.

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JStevenYork Qualcomm shows ebook reader with color eInk and video playback, for projected 2010 release: http://bit.ly/3PLrDb

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:58 PM, Nov 19th, 2009 via web)

Flipbooks 15 Strange But Cool Contact Lenses http://is.gd/4hoAv !

via Seesmic (retweeted on 11:09 AM, Nov 19th, 2009 via web)

Gratitude to @BrianKeene And thx @poxypigtails for rec’ing Dahl’s “The Wonderful Life of Henry Sugar” (favorite genre fiction blood clot!)

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RT @PopMatters ‘Port of Call’ is Nicolas Cage’s most unleashed http://bit.ly/3WRIW9 <-“Shoot him again! His soul is still dancing!”

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There is nothing more remarkable than a blood clot. It gives hope. It seals. Except when there is nothing to heal. Then it’s a terrorist.

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Mailing out the first batch of the Goreletter’s free froggie bookplates — http://j.mp/1jKtCN — tomorrow. Plenty still left before 12.1.09!

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That IS funny @JaneFriedman! Especially if “John” is a vascular surgeon. :-) But srsly: good advice tonight. Thanx for tweeting it!

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But if Harlequin is getting so desperate for profit, we all better look out!

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@amergina Ah…I see now. I thought it was a digital arm. Thanks for clearing it up. I think the RWA is making the right (bold!) call.

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@amergina Isn’t a fear of losing profits to ebooks (self-pub’d) behind their move? Maybe I’m misunderstanding why they’re doing it.

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RT @PiaVeleno @merrileefaber: RWA revokes Harlequin’s recognized publisher status http://bit.ly/111Bfg <-borne of ebook panic

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@nan_russell Nice “Twecklers” link! It’s funny (and sometimes said) how adults can regress to playground antics sometimes, no?

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You have to see the comments and photos on this “Laptop Steering Wheel Desk” page on amazon…you will LAUGH!: http://bit.ly/3OXAzL

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More details on The Fiction Project: Coming Soon. I dare you to join me! http://bit.ly/1NLxoo

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@arthouse The Fiction Project http://bit.ly/3ipZXM will build the Brooklyn Art Library’s collection. <—I’m doing this. Join me.

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I’m taking “The Fiction Project” sketchbook challenge at Arthouse Coop. JOIN ME!: http://www.arthousecoop….

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Hold that thought. Squeeze it. Let the idea squirt between your fingers. Make it scream. Don’t let go. Till it’s silent. Then release.

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ZilchEbooks Amazon&#39;s Kindle arrives in Canada http://bit.ly/1FouKi

via twitterfeed (retweeted on 10:13 PM, Nov 17th, 2009 via web)

Recommend pseudonym for satanic authors: Omir Wonan

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Gracias, @wdprescott. I don’t know what to say, except to quote Cronenberg: “Long live the new flesh!”

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Cool. Check out the “cyborg limited edition” of Tomasula’s VAS on the Chiasmus Books website: http://www.chiasmusmedia…

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@Tweet_Shrieks LOL…that is for the VERRRYY limited edition bookplate!

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Review any Arnzen title at Amazon.com; gets contest entry + free sgnd bookplates for early entrants! http://bit.ly/2WSb7p

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Hopeful Machines : ‘Electronica for Sociopaths’ by author/artist/musician Steve Archer: http://www.hopefulmachin…

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Google Books announces ‘breakthrough moment’ on their site: http://books.google.com/…

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Roku, you ignorant slut. The entire history of SNL now seem to be streaming live on @netflix: http://www.thenowhereman…

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Hosted “Strange Animation” event on campus today: Richter’s Vormittagspuk, Swankmajer’s Dimensions of Dialogue, Hertzfeldt’s Meaning of Life

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RT @unbridledbooks @markarayner: Does anyone know of a podcast that accepts submissions of original fiction? <-pseudopod.org = horror

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SPORTUARY my twisted treatment of athletics: now available on the Amazon Kindle for $2.49 http://bit.ly/W1Ucm (or FREE via gorelets.com!)

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Choose Your Own Adventure books-interactive on the Kindle! Ironically: one is called “Lost in the Amazon”! http://bit.ly/44OQVb

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Indeed, @JohnUrbancik. And others. Is it profoundly ironic that the least used button on my kybd is the one that reads “Pause|Break”?

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I have written umpteentrillion words in my lifetime. Yet I see there are buttons on my keyboard I have never pressed.

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RT @AMachen @HowardLovecraft The Contrarian: Eldritch Musicks preorder. http://bit.ly/1E9SzD <-I ordered it!

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Just Spotted @jeffvandermeer’s ‘Last Drink Bird Head: A Flash Fiction Antho’ on @amazon: http://bit.ly/4zIh16

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RT @ebertchicago Martin Scorsese’s personal list of the Top 11 Horror Films of All Time. http://j.mp/2AfcFX

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Damascene: 1) of or relating to city of Damascus; 2) what I do when I revise my manuscripts.

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RT @inkyelbows New comic: All’s Fair http://bit.ly/4ke1jG <-I like the witch comic on this page a lot.

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Prosthetic limbs feel Phantom Plastic Vat Syndrome.

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@Poe71 what’s your blog address?

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A Parable: God listens to all tweets in the universe simultaneously. Until he discovers lists. His first list is titled ‘damned’…

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I think all greeting cards should say “Psyche!” on the back.

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Where I Lay My Head is a Pillow

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I Can’t Drive Twenty-Five

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I’m excited — ‘Head in Flames’ by Lance Olsen is now available! http://bit.ly/cDXCu

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I think I’ve got my blogs showing up better on a mobile device. Try http://www.gorelets.com/… or /uncanny to check it out!

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Good to see you @CindieGeddes!

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RT @bluearthredshoe@MikeArnzen is a frighteningly clever writer, an engaging…” Thanks 4 the rec 4 @mrtweet! http://tinyurl.com/yl6ap…

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@Poe71 “The best place to purchase Arnzen books?” <- I’d say @amazon http://bit.ly/1wb2DR +rare ones @horrormall http://www.horror-mall.c…

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Writers tip: you really should give Gila Queen’s Guide to Markets a try http://gilaqueen.us/

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@nextnature’s post makes me wonder how weird the world would be if kids played with parental-aged dolls http://bit.ly/30zhVL

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I contend that it is the term “the” that makes Friday the 13th so scary. Thus, I propose Halloween be renamed The Thirty-first.

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@CinemaSuicide There is no mood that ‘Immigrant Song’ can’t transform.

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@bluearthredshoe What’s really funny is that @DennysGrandSlam is now following me. I think Hazel works there. Awesome. Hungry.

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Wow, you really took the pancake and ran with it…bravo. RT @bluearthredshoe And So I Did! http://bit.ly/L9hF

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How to Read Your Free Ebook From The Goreletter… http://bit.ly/3gS6sd

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I love that cluster of books @CargoCultPress! @docbrite @eastonellis Jim Thompson and Ramsey Campbell — maybe Fowles too. Edgy group!

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Clown Flu. I love it @JeremyCShipp. Ha1N1.

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@jimsissy “The Anti-Pancake”! (Beware: it bears the Number of the Yeast!)

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@troilee Congrats on Borderlands Camp! That’s great…Winter, FPW, Tom…everyone there is a blast…and very wise! Enjoy every morsel!

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@bluearthredshoe What a great bizarro way to start a story! Go for it.

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@jimsissy It’s always suspenseful when there’s pancakes in the room.

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@bluearthredshoe That was weirdly fun. I was cackling at the end. Thanks for the bizarre collaboration!

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RT @JeremyCShipp Alrighty—2 signed copies of CURSED left. If you’d like one, here’s your chance: http://tinyurl.com/pa8vrj

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That was for @troilee!

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RT @bluearthredshoe PANCAKES bled ON her PASTY tray FULL stream FROM above HER severed DUODENUM!

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The suspense is killing me :-)

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RT @bluearthredshoe PANCAKES bled ON her PASTY tray FULL stream FROM above HER

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RT @bluearthredshoe PANCAKES bled ON her PASTY tray FULL stream FROM…

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@Dathar Maybe! Thanks for the collaboration.

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@Dathar Hazel’s Pancake Pockets. Now available in your frozen food aisle.

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LOL @Dathar! Sounds linty.

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RT @Dathar: Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES are FALLING from WAITRESS Hazel’s APRON pockets ONTO

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RT @bluearthredshoe PANCAKES bled ON her PASTY tray FULL

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RT @Dathar Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES are FALLING from WAITRESS Hazel’s APRON

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@benitorcorral We’re like-minded! Too many books play it too safe…books need to be transgressive.

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Next! RT @BlackDogNate @MikeArnzen Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES cascaded INTO…

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Next! RT @Dathar @MikeArnzen: Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES are FALLING from WAITRESS

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Next! RT @MikeArnzen @bluearthredshoe: Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES bled ON her PASTY

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RT @Dathar Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES are FALLING…

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RT @bluearthredshoe: Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES BLED ON…

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Try this: Add a word and RT until this tweet is maxed: PANCAKES…

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Publishers: more books like Chuck P’s Haunted and @docbrite ‘s Exquisite Corpse please.

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Grave Oddities Seeking the Coma Babies

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Murky Wetbones Grin Across a Pile of Pirate Dust

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A Stable of Weird Demon Children Commit Blood-curdling Unnatural Acts

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The Bird is The Key to the Art of Creating Survivor Secrets

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Go to your bookshelf. Draw an imaginary line between words on spines down the row. See if you can make a curious sentence.

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RT @philandsarah Just added installation pics from @RealCliveBarker ‘s exhibition which is now up and running: http://bit.ly/2C6GCe

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RT @OneNightStanzas @JFDerry Bacteria write the shortest poems. <-“Noses are Red, Violets Achoo”

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Kindle Daily Nation tells us what the new Kindle for PC app can and can’t do: http://bit.ly/21gMRV

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@MikeBrendan Okay, I’ll stop now. I just got a mental image of Andy Rooney getting his neck pureed.

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lol @MikeBrendan! Why do we call them chainsaws? I can’t remember the last time I sawed a chain with one… and did you ever wonder…

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@MikeBrendan Ever wonder why they call it a baseball bat? When I bat my eyelashes, what do they hit? My eyeballs? And did you ever wonder…

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I’m in an Andy Rooney state of mind. This will become annoying to my friends and coworkers today.

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Why do we call computer math tables “spreadsheets” and not “tablecloths”?

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If we call autobiographies “memoirs,” why don’t we call biographies “themoirs”?

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RT @Fictionwise “Big promo coming next week…” <- IT’S HERE! http://bit.ly/2zufCU Yet another awesome deal; works w/Kindle2.

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Right on. Proverbs for Monsters is back in stock @horrormall They’ve got the B*fight and Dying in store too. http://j.mp/fXxNv

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@digitalred93 I know how you feel. I’m told the KindleDX does PDF (but it’s $200 more than the standard K2).

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Listening to “Slum Creeper” by Calla http://bit.ly/4iz3TE The band is cooking up a new site w/solo project for Valle http://j.mp/upZJc

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Thanks for the poetry prompt @baffled!

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@bidfire Amazon Kindle DX my guesses: 16.60, 19.20, 12.55, 14.25

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@digitalred93 Kindle can add notes, though not as user friendly as one would like (pc app is making this easier). Can’t do PDFs directly.:-(

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You might like the Alpha Workshop for young writers — Holly Black, Timothy Zahn, Tamora Pierce, Mike Arnzen — http://j.mp/1OxPA0

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RT @digitalred93 E Book reader product matrix ~ http://bit.ly/1E4XYh Thanks to @steveoleolson <-Insightful! Kindle2 holds it own, I think.

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Build a shopping list of outrageously inappropriate gifts that would be horrifying if they weren’t so funny. http://bit.ly/3c432D

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RT @LizardTwits @Journeywoman LAPTOP of the future. Very cool! http://bit.ly/ifbGO <-And…we’re back to scrolls again! :-)

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Right on. Kindle for PC now available. Allows you to read Kindle ebooks on your computer. http://bit.ly/3AJSvd

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RT @simonschuster @ScribnerBooks DOME DAY. giveaways. The snippets at http://bit.ly/22OprM entice me to read it.

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(A personal favorite)

“Lobes Light”: zombies drink home brew / straight from the slippery tap / of esophagus

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(A personal favorite)

“The Nature of My Game”: I core my apple / recalling Adam and Eve / and replant the seed. @baffled

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@matociquala Looks like you’ll need to commit adverbicide.

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RT @ChrisTwitery @baffled : any haiku you like, as long as it has the word ‘core’ in it. http://tumblr.com/xfk3yc…

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It is freaky to listen to novels from the French Decadent movement using the text-to-speech function on your Kindle.

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@Poe71 Hah, thnx for laughing to tears about my post. I was, too…but the tears became sort of real. + @LaMaupin : right on the $.

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Finished posting Listmania! lists @amazon for the crazy books reviewed in the Goreletter over the past 7 years: http://bit.ly/mDcZC

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Want it weird and well-written? Check out ‘Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars’ by Cody Goodfellow @amazon http://bit.ly/2VHPR2

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I enjoy @shitmydadsays a LOT but the TV deals should be going to @shitgoodwriterswritewithathemeandplotandstuff

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RT @Flipbooks @TheLiveFeed: Twitter’s ‘Sh*t My Dad Says’ gets TV deal http://bit.ly/4mtxZr <-Someone alert Abe Vigoda’s agent asap!

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Just in case you missed the second batch: MORE Twisted Prompts for http://bit.ly/47jY1w

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@Sidney_Williams Grover would be cool. Didn’t like the “Big Bird legs” alone on google the other day. I imagined he was hanging!

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“Lansdale & Datlow & Arnzen, Oh my!” New Tachyon Pubs @horrormall Get my rare chapbook “Dying” signed http://bit.ly/Zlm2J

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It’s now been a generation since the Berlin Wall fell. Soviet Communism is dead. Germans thrive. And the Scorpions are now geezer metal.

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I like “the Count” sesame street vampire image on Google today. He should eat those numbers.

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Fortune cookie msg says “Learn Chinese: ‘Disease’.” Why? What on earth did I eat?!?

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CLIFF’S NOTES TO CLIFF’S NOTES, by Cliff (Abridged Edition)

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@JeremyCShipp Enjoyed the interview. Good luck with transforming the moon!

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You are so right about readings, @bizarromagazine CM3’s “Brutally Evil” show is an unforgettable riot!

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New Listmania: Books Reviewed in the Goreletter (part one 2002-4): http://bit.ly/2MBcBl

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There’s more tweets in this month! Go up and select a date to see more ↑

Selected poems from
The Nest appear in:

cover for The Gorelets Omnibus by Michael Arnzen