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Michael Arnzen's Weird Newsletter

+++Vol. 11.2 | Sept-Oct 2016+++

Halloween Brew


Blather. Wince. Repeat.


Hipster Corpse
Satan's Pissoir
Idiotic Bro Brew
Slippery Mickey
Castle Drunkenshitz Old Ale
Zika Mosquito Repellent
Ralphing Cabbage Kolsch
Netflix Prison Juice
Belgian Spittoon
Gin and Colonic
Kraut Gout Stout
Wobbly Tall Boy
Little Red Pils
Auto-erotic Asphyxiation Blonde
Nitro Fruity Toot Fab
This is Your Brain On Thuggz Honey Brew
Sparkly Vampire Scales
Detroit Embalming Fluid
Urethra Franklin 1776 Ale
Fungus Feet Wheat
Smeared Brown Lager
Yesterday's Dinner
Cousin Lovin' Spoonful
Fermented Fester
Reinscheissgebot Dunkel
Toad Licker's Fantasy Spores
Lizard Alien Telly Porter
Fermented Fizzly Wanker
BTKillian's Red
Amber Cranial Fluid


MURRMANN: A Tale of Van Helsing
A New Original Novelette | Arnzen's Sequel to Dracula!

MURRMANN: A TALE OF VAN HELSING is a novelette told through letters from the vampire hunter about a new encounter with a very familiar character! Inspired by a re-reading of Dracula during my trip last summer to Germany. Available as an ebook exclusively on the Amazon Kindle platflorm for under a buck at

Early reader reviews, like the one below, are great!

“A picturesque storybook village, populated with vibrant characters pulled from Dracula and the author’s unique imagination, becomes an ominous phantasmagoria by night. Quirky-yet-lovable Van Helsing, with stalwart companions, comes face-to-face with a familiar “creature of the night,” but the who – or what – is guaranteed to surprise even jaded fans of the genre. Four-time Stoker Award-winning author/poet Michael Arnzen extends Stoker’s classic in a fiendishly clever, yet logical, way. A must-read for fans of vampire fiction, but horror film- and show-watchers will find this short a riveting experience, too ” – Tom Connair

Get it on your kindle/app ( for only $.99. You can read Kindle books on a phone app or on the Kindle Cloud Reader ( if you don't own the device itself. If you are an HWA member, query me for a free review copy.



The Horror Writers Association has published Horror Poetry Showcase Vol. III in both ebook and paperback editions. And The Bare Knuckle Podcast presents you with a Halloween treat: Pete Mesling reads several of the poems from the book, including mine! You can listen to it on Soundcloud

Proverbs for Monsters has been released early in ebook format by Dark Regions Press! Collectors can expect a special “10th Anniversary Edition” paperback to come. In the mean time, get the electronic book cheap on ( . This collection of 30 stories & 30 poems won the Bram Stoker Award for Fiction Collection.

“55 Ways I'd Prefer Not to Die” – which is fifty-five microfictions, each 55 words long, will appear very soon in 555 Vol. 2: This Head, These Limbs, from Carrion Blue 555 ( . I will have more exciting news about this piece in the near future. Get it this Fall!

Bruce Boston's stunning collection of horror poetry, Pitchblende, is now available from Weasel Press ( . I edited and introduced this Stoker Award-winning chapbook, and highly recommend it to all fans of macabre language and fantastic If you've never read this acclaimed poet before, now you can get your hands on this masterpiece in the genre in an affordable edition.

Keep your eyes on the new online version of National Lampoon ( Just sayin'. It's hilarious during this crazy political season.

Gorelets: Unpleasant Poems


Viscous, I slide between your fingers when you feel for a pulse, hoping to find life. You do, though the body you're clutching is long dead. I am vampire, yes, but I don't drink your blood, your blood drinks me, and I course inside you gifting the veins that beat beneath your tongue with a taste of eternity. You bite down on it as you fall beside the other body, thirsty in ecstatic wonder as another hero from the crowd kneels above, coming to our rescue.

Meet Mike Arnzen

DogCon 5 (
Oct 1-2, 2016 | Broadkill Resort, DE
Raw Doggers at the Beach!
Last chance to buy tickets
My “Live Instigation” workshop streams Sat 10/1 at 3pm:

AF Booksellers (
Oct 22nd, 2016 - 2pm | Pittsburgh, PA
Poetry Reading with Timons Esaias

StokerCon 2017 (
April 27-30, 2017 | Long Beach, CA
We All Float… on the Queen Mary!

IVFAF 2017 - Transylvania (
May 25-28, 2017 | Romania
International Vampire Film & Art Festival!!!

Events sometimes pop up between newsletters so be sure to check the weblog once in a while for upcoming events #

Meet the Freaks

An Update on Freakcidents: A Surrealist Sideshow

“Meet the Freaks”in the new book trailer for Freakcidents: A Surrealist Sideshow:

You may already know that this Stoker Award-winning collection of poems about impossible mutants was recently released in a new kindle edition ( in August. The brand new AUDIOBOOK, read by Arnzen, has since been published on and can be yours for under $3. In her goodreads review, reader Janie C. calls the new edition “an intensely gripping sideshow…Arnzen chooses his words carefully to illuminate the horror of mutation. At the same time, he illustrates the nearly unbearable pain of human existence.” Nice! I love reader reviews…share your thoughts!



Collectors items available on bandcamp

DISCOUNT CODE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: 15% OFF anything at ( : enter “madman” (no quotes) and click “apply” in the discount code box at checkout!


Cool horror haiku from Darkfuse Magazine

Longtime horror publisher Darkfuse started a fun new online campaign last month called “The Devil's Cut” – a light competition of horror haiku (all of them set in 6-6-6 syllables) that readers post to twitter. I just love all the twisted little poems that people are posting, and I bet you'll enjoy these poems in the spirit of “gorelets,” too. I've been having fun with this myself, and last month wrote this little ditty:
Japanese Bonsai tree
quivers in the moonlight —
clutching his pruning shears

And that's just a small sliver. You can read many more of these by searching twitter for hashtag #DarkFuseHaikus or on the darkfuse website:



Summer is over… #


“If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost.” – Lloyd C. Douglas, died 1951


Read the back issues ( !

Copyright 2016, Michael A. Arnzen - All rights reserved

You are reading a “plain text” version of The Goreletter. The newsletter is now designed with HTML in mind, so I recommend you review your subscription options and choose HTML if your email reader or browser will allow it.


* Due to the temporary nature of internet URLs, some websites mentioned in back issues of the Goreletter may no longer be live, or may also point to unscrupulous web servers. I will denote these with overstrikes as I discover them, but if you encounter a dead, changed or unscrupulous link, please feel free to inform me.
* “Boo Coupons” are expired in all but the current issue.
* If you are seeking a particular book by Arnzen mentioned in The Goreletter, try
* Arnzen's blog is now located at Visit it for breaking news and extras not appearing in The Goreletter.

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goreletter/halloween_brew.txt · Last modified: 2016/09/24 20:37 by marnzen

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