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Michael Arnzen's Weird Newsletter

+++Vol. 10.2 | December 2015+++

Household of Blood



To celebrate the holidays, the best gift I could come up with for you was to spontaneously run random book giveaways from Xmas all the way through New Year's Eve. I started posting these on my blog, twitter and other places online and already people have rapidly begun winning… so ACT QUICK and enter now!!!

Enter and track the various contests as they go live or expire here:

A day after the mailing of this newsletter, I'll announced the last of the amazon giveaways on the above webpage, but you are hearing about it here first – so here's how to take advantage of the early leak:

Head directly to for an advanced chance to win a paperback copy of Grave Markings: 20th Anniversary Edition. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY; you'll be told right away if you're a winner, like an instant lottery ticket. Ends the earlier of Dec 31st, 2015 at 11:59 eastern or when all prizes are claimed. [Official Rules ]

Don't be too sad if you missed your chances or didn't win. As newsletter subscribers, you also have exclusive opportunity to win the following GRAND PRIZE. All you have to do is BE subscribed to this newsletter and I will randomly draw an email address. If that's you and you answer my emailed query within 24 hours, you will have won! How easy is that?!

What is the grand prize? A signed, limited leatherbound copy of the Bram Stoker Award-winning collection of my best horror fiction and poetry, Proverbs for Monsters! Only 26 of these are in existence…and they listed at $125 on release. Again: ALL SUBSCRIBERS TO THE GORELETTER ARE AUTOMATICALLY ELIGIBLE FOR THIS PRIZE, which will be randomly drawn on New Year's Day, 1/1/2016. You don't have to do a thing to win, except stay subscribed! The grand prize winners will be contacted via email and must respond to my query within 24 hours to win. So check your email early on New Years day or see the contest rally blog entry to see if a prize has been claimed. This book could be yours!

GORELETS: Unpleasant Poems


the plasma pours
from every faucet
and drains into basins
you can never clean because
it's taken over the plumbing

and it sprays from all showerheads
and it spits from all spigots
and it dances inside dishwashers
a grisly crimson
all foamy with Finish

and the laundry room churns
downstairs like a heartbeat
rhythmically soaking the clothing
imbuing the fabric with its dirty dye

and you think about suiciding
in the tub with a wrist slit or two
but don't want to join the drainage
don't want to lose yourself
in the incessant flow of
liquid anonymity

and then you hear laughter
and gaze out the window
to see a rainbow of
beautiful bloodspray
misting your dancing daughter
shiny and purple
as she plays mindless
in the sprinklers
laughing like
a crazy, crazyfaced clown
and you dare not interrupt her joy
with your household horror

but the water pressure is too much
too much
to watch / to feel / to bear
it's shredding her
in curly waves
out there on the grass
blending her flesh in the air

so you open all the faucets
and hope this ocean of red will run,
run out completely –
and maybe kill this house, haunted
not so much by your murder
as by the clean up afterward

but as it spits from all spigots
and it sprays from all showerheads
the plasma pours
as the memories circulate
and surround you
in a prisonhouse womb
that won't ever be so easily
filled and then emptied again


World Horror Convention 2016
April 28-May 1st, 2016 | Provo, UT
Arnzen will be a Special Guest

StokerCon 2016
May 12th-15th, 2016 | Las Vegas
Workshop on “Making the Reader Squirm”

In Your Write Mind 2016
June 24th, 2016 | Greensburg, PA
Massive booksigning at Seton Hill University with WPF Alumni

Winchester Mystery House Retreat
Aug 11th-13th, 2016 | San Jose, CA
One of several guests of honor at this special writers retreat at the Winchester Mystery House \\(

Events will continue to be listed online as they emerge:


+ I'm pleased to announce that my Bram Stoker Award-winning collection of fiction and poetry, Proverbs for Monsters, will finally be released in 2016 in an ebook edition from one of my favorite horror publishers, Dark Regions Press

+ 2016 should also see the release of The Popular Uncanny (currently being revised for Guide Dog Books). The weblog will be the first place I announce details, so check it out.

+ I've also already begun taking steps to produce new audio creations and I'm excited to share these with you shortly. Stay tuned to this newsletter!

“Raven Confused” from the gorelets flickr gallery


Many Genres, Many Presentations in 2015

I will always remember 2015 as a year crowded with live readings, travels and lecture events – from a panel discussion on teaching horror at ICFA to a vacation in Germany where my wife and I visited a Till Lindemann art exhibit. I gave a talk at UCF in Florida about “Subversive Reading,” gave a reading at the Nightsun fiction workshops and chatted with PARSEC in Pittsburgh about the Uncanny. I also enjoyed the usual conferences and conventions, especially World Horror Con in Atlanta. Many of these events have appeared on or my social network, for the curious.

One of my favorite experiences this year was a weekend-long takeover of Philadelphia for Raw Dog Screaming Press' annual DogCon event

DogCon started with a talk I gave at Neumann University and you can catch a video clip from this lecture on “The Uncanny Valley” last October on The Popular Uncanny website [In the video, I discuss how “Terror Management Theory” relates to the creepy feelings we sometimes attribute to the most lifelike of robots and animatronic characters…]

Many thanks to everyone who hung out, hosted, or just said hello… I really enjoyed the laughter with everone and getting to meet so many new readers and friends. It inspires me to keep it crazy. This winter will be devoted to writing and then I'll crawl out from my crypt again in late Spring…hope to see you then. For now, here's the link to the video clip from my talk at Neumann U:


twisted prompts for sicko writers


+ Murder by voting booth.
+ Script an over-the-top smear campaign or ludicrously accusatory TV commercial.
+ From the point of view of an assistant or intern, dramatize a politician's appeal for help in covering up a heinous crime.
+ Describe a deathmatch between an elephant and a donkey (or other political animal symbol) with as much gritty realism as possible. Give this battle a function.
+ Write a “Bill of Rights” for the citizens of Hell. Or invent a “Bill of Wrongs.”
+ Choose your favorite monster or imaginary creature. Now create a political party for others of its kind, or have it run for office on behalf of all monsters.
+ Zombify an assassinated politician.
+ Deliver a non-human character's speech before the UN General Assembly.

Meet the latest writer to be featured in the Instigation Showcase: Joe La Dowdy, who is doing something REALLY AMAZING with her blog: responding to a daily prompt from the Instigation ebook for all 365 days of the year!

Don't forget you can also get “Bizarro Instigation” in the Raw Dog Screaming Press newsletter


“When I have inspired universal horror and disgust, I shall have conquered solitude.”
– Charles Baudelaire (died 1867)


Read the back issues ( !

Copyright 2016, Michael A. Arnzen - All rights reserved

You are reading a “plain text” version of The Goreletter. The newsletter is now designed with HTML in mind, so I recommend you review your subscription options and choose HTML if your email reader or browser will allow it.


* Due to the temporary nature of internet URLs, some websites mentioned in back issues of the Goreletter may no longer be live, or may also point to unscrupulous web servers. I will denote these with overstrikes as I discover them, but if you encounter a dead, changed or unscrupulous link, please feel free to inform me.
* “Boo Coupons” are expired in all but the current issue.
* If you are seeking a particular book by Arnzen mentioned in The Goreletter, try
* Arnzen's blog is now located at Visit it for breaking news and extras not appearing in The Goreletter.

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goreletter/household_of_blood.txt · Last modified: 2015/12/29 17:20 by marnzen

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