THE GORELETTER: Michael Arnzen's Weird Newsletter http://www.gorelets.com +++Vol. 11.2 | Sept-Oct 2016+++ **Halloween Brew** ---- ====BLATHER==== Blather. Wince. Repeat. GORELETS CRAFT BEER RELEASE CALENDAR: October 2016 Hipster Corpse \\ Satan's Pissoir \\ Idiotic Bro Brew \\ Slippery Mickey \\ Castle Drunkenshitz Old Ale \\ Zika Mosquito Repellent \\ Ralphing Cabbage Kolsch \\ Netflix Prison Juice \\ Belgian Spittoon \\ Gin and Colonic \\ Kraut Gout Stout \\ Wobbly Tall Boy \\ Little Red Pils \\ Auto-erotic Asphyxiation Blonde \\ Nitro Fruity Toot Fab \\ This is Your Brain On Thuggz Honey Brew \\ Sparkly Vampire Scales \\ Pus IPA \\ Detroit Embalming Fluid \\ Urethra Franklin 1776 Ale \\ Fungus Feet Wheat \\ Smeared Brown Lager \\ Yesterday's Dinner \\ Cousin Lovin' Spoonful \\ Fermented Fester \\ Reinscheissgebot Dunkel \\ Toad Licker's Fantasy Spores \\ Lizard Alien Telly Porter \\ Fermented Fizzly Wanker \\ BTKillian's Red \\ Amber Cranial Fluid \\ ====NEW RELEASE==== MURRMANN: A Tale of Van Helsing \\ A New Original Novelette | Arnzen's Sequel to Dracula! \\ MURRMANN: A TALE OF VAN HELSING is a novelette told through letters from the vampire hunter about a new encounter with a very familiar character! Inspired by a re-reading of Dracula during my trip last summer to Germany. Available as an ebook exclusively on the Amazon Kindle platflorm for under a buck at http://amzn.to/2aXO245 Early reader reviews, like the one below, are great! "A picturesque storybook village, populated with vibrant characters pulled from Dracula and the author’s unique imagination, becomes an ominous phantasmagoria by night. Quirky-yet-lovable Van Helsing, with stalwart companions, comes face-to-face with a familiar “creature of the night,” but the who -- or what -- is guaranteed to surprise even jaded fans of the genre. Four-time Stoker Award-winning author/poet Michael Arnzen extends Stoker’s classic in a fiendishly clever, yet logical, way. A must-read for fans of vampire fiction, but horror film- and show-watchers will find this short a riveting experience, too " -- Tom Connair Get it on your kindle/app (http://amzn.to/2aXO245) for only $.99. You can read Kindle books on a phone app or on the Kindle Cloud Reader (https://read.amazon.com/) if you don't own the device itself. If you are an HWA member, query me for a free review copy. #http://amzn.to/2d8MSEO ====NEW PUBLICATIONS==== The Horror Writers Association has published Horror Poetry Showcase Vol. III in both ebook and paperback editions. And The Bare Knuckle Podcast presents you with a Halloween treat: Pete Mesling reads several of the poems from the book, including mine! You can listen to it on Soundcloud \\ #http://amzn.to/2aquCUI \\ #https://soundcloud.com/pete_mesling/sounds-from-saturday-night-3 \\ Proverbs for Monsters has been released early in ebook format by Dark Regions Press! Collectors can expect a special "10th Anniversary Edition" paperback to come. In the mean time, get the electronic book cheap on amazon.com (http://amzn.to/2cxIMaP) . This collection of 30 stories & 30 poems won the Bram Stoker Award for Fiction Collection. "55 Ways I'd Prefer Not to Die" -- which is fifty-five microfictions, each 55 words long, will appear very soon in 555 Vol. 2: This Head, These Limbs, from Carrion Blue 555 (http://carrionblue555.blogspot.com/) . I will have more exciting news about this piece in the near future. Get it this Fall! Bruce Boston's stunning collection of horror poetry, Pitchblende, is now available from Weasel Press (http://www.weaselpress.com/pitchblende) . I edited and introduced this Stoker Award-winning chapbook, and highly recommend it to all fans of macabre language and fantastic If you've never read this acclaimed poet before, now you can get your hands on this masterpiece in the genre in an affordable edition. Keep your eyes on the new online version of National Lampoon (http://nationallampoon.com/). Just sayin'. It's hilarious during this crazy political season. ====Gorelets: Unpleasant Poems==== THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE \\ \\ Viscous, I slide between your fingers when you feel for a pulse, hoping to find life. You do, though the body you're clutching is long dead. I am vampire, yes, but I don't drink your blood, your blood drinks me, and I course inside you gifting the veins that beat beneath your tongue with a taste of eternity. You bite down on it as you fall beside the other body, thirsty in ecstatic wonder as another hero from the crowd kneels above, coming to our rescue. \\ ====Meet Mike Arnzen==== DogCon 5 (http://rawdogscreaming.com/dogcon/) \\ Oct 1-2, 2016 | Broadkill Resort, DE \\ Raw Doggers at the Beach! \\ Last chance to buy tickets \\ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dogcon5-tickets-26847672110 \\ Or...JOIN US ONLINE! \\ My "Live Instigation" workshop streams Sat 10/1 at 3pm: https://app.webinarjam.net/register/30519/b021d4b54c \\ AF Booksellers (http://gorelets.com/events/af-booksellers/) \\ Oct 22nd, 2016 - 2pm | Pittsburgh, PA \\ Poetry Reading with Timons Esaias \\ StokerCon 2017 (http://www.stokercon2017.com/) \\ April 27-30, 2017 | Long Beach, CA \\ We All Float... on the Queen Mary! \\ IVFAF 2017 - Transylvania (http://gorelets.com/events/ivfaf-2017-transylvania/) \\ May 25-28, 2017 | Romania \\ International Vampire Film & Art Festival!!! \\ Events sometimes pop up between newsletters so be sure to check the weblog once in a while for upcoming events #http://gorelets.com/upcoming-arnzen-appearances/ ====Meet the Freaks==== An Update on Freakcidents: A Surrealist Sideshow "Meet the Freaks"in the new book trailer for Freakcidents: A Surrealist Sideshow: \\ #https://youtu.be/q8agMyffMnc \\ You may already know that this Stoker Award-winning collection of poems about impossible mutants was recently released in a new kindle edition (http://amzn.to/2cVghqw) in August. The brand new AUDIOBOOK, read by Arnzen, has since been published on Audible.com and can be yours for under $3. In her goodreads review, reader Janie C. calls the new edition "an intensely gripping sideshow...Arnzen chooses his words carefully to illuminate the horror of mutation. At the same time, he illustrates the nearly unbearable pain of human existence." Nice! I love reader reviews...share your thoughts! #http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_pd_Drama-_c2_publnk?searchProvider=Mastication%2BPublications ====SIGNED CDs AVAILABLE==== Collectors items available on bandcamp \\ http://arnzen.bandcamp.com/merch DISCOUNT CODE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: 15% OFF anything at arnzen.bandcamp.com (http://arnzen.bandcamp.com/) : enter "madman" (no quotes) and click "apply" in the discount code box at checkout! ====THE DEVIL'S CUT==== Cool horror haiku from Darkfuse Magazine \\ Longtime horror publisher Darkfuse started a fun new online campaign last month called "The Devil's Cut" -- a light competition of horror haiku (all of them set in 6-6-6 syllables) that readers post to twitter. I just love all the twisted little poems that people are posting, and I bet you'll enjoy these poems in the spirit of "gorelets," too. I've been having fun with this myself, and last month wrote this little ditty: \\ Japanese Bonsai tree \\ quivers in the moonlight — \\ clutching his pruning shears \\ \\ And that's just a small sliver. You can read many more of these by searching twitter for hashtag #DarkFuseHaikus or on the darkfuse website: \\ #http://www.darkfusemagazine.com/the-devils-cut/ PLEASE VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITES \\ ====HAPPY HALLOWEEN!==== Summer is over... #https://flic.kr/p/LBt82n ====PITHY MORBID THOUGHTS==== "If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost." -- Lloyd C. Douglas, died 1951 \\ ====COLOPHON==== Read the back issues (http://gorelets.com/repository/doku.php/goreletter/start) ! Copyright 2016, Michael A. Arnzen - All rights reserved You are reading a “plain text” version of The Goreletter. The newsletter is now designed with HTML in mind, so I recommend you review your subscription options and choose HTML if your email reader or browser will allow it. VIEW THE FANCY HTML VERSION OF THIS NEWSLETTER WITH ARTWORK AND MORE: \\ http://eepurl.com/cggmm1 ---- {{page>gfoot&nodate&nouser}}