THE GORELETTER
Arnzen's Weird Newsletter
http://www.gorelets.com
+++ Vol 1.1, Sept. 26, 2002 +++
**Scream Musings**
----
==== MISSION ====
Here you can expect the unexpected.
Like many writer's newsletters, one
intention of The Goreletter is to share
news of interest to my readers. But I
will also approach this as a creative
workspace, not as a dull publicity tool.
From strange poetry to offbeat
departments to essays on writing and
the web, The Goreletter will be full of
weird ideas worth mulling over.
Don't be fooled by its name: The
Goreletter is not intended to be gory
(though it might be). Nor is it
associated with Al Gore. The title
simply signifies that it complements my
web site at: http://www.gorelets.com
Feedback encouraged. Sign the
gorelets guestbook and let me know
what you think.
On to the unpleasantry…
-- Michael Arnzen
====BLATHER====
To "blather" means to chatter foolishly.
But the word sounds more like "bloody
lather" to me, so let's scrub up….
"Scream Musings"
1:
So long as you're screaming, you know
you're alive. Your first word is a
scream. Your last word, often, is a
scream. Screaming is nothing more
than baby talk with the volume cranked
up. In other words: something like
whalesong.
2:
Fact: We all don't scream for ice
cream.
3:
Screams cry out to others -- to alarm
them or ward them off or bring them to
assist us. But we are always the one
who hears them loudest.
4:
Edward Munch, expressionist painter
of "The Scream," somehow captures
the sound of a wailing man in the
pigment. You can hear it if you're in
the museum that houses the actual
painting. But you must put your ears
against the canvas and strain quite a
bit to hear it. Even then: all you'll hear
is a whisper. If you do hear the
scream, it's too late. You have
certainly gone mad and your senses
are no longer to be trusted.
5:
Do you truly listen to the Scream
Queens? Should you?
6:
Paper cuts aside, I've never seen a
reader scream while reading a horror
novel.
7:
Screaming is an art. Screams are a
matter of maximum volume at
maximum air current at maximum
pitch. All stops are out with the scream
-- all ten fingers are chording the
organ, Nosferatu-style. There's music
in it. This is a truism that opera singers
and metalheads share.
8:
Screaming is part of animal's everyday
language. The monkey screech is
perhaps the closest thing to a primal
scream among animals. Cats hiss
when they're scared, but how do we
know they're not actually screaming
when they're meowing with gusto? Do
you ever scream back? Should you?
9:
Which is correct? Is it
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" or
"Aaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" or "Arrrrrrrrrrrghghgh!"?
Which is best: "Doh!" or "Oh!" or "Ow!"
or "No!" Are screams ever >really<
more than one word? Do ALL CAPS
make these words any louder? Does
removing the exclamation point rob
them of their urgency?
Perhaps handwriting best captures the
erotic nature of the scream: the
bleeding of ink into the page; the to
and fro of fat and thin lines as the pen
presses into and out of the paper,
recording the ebb and flow of the
writer's panic; the missing words and
misspellings and ink stains blotted by
sweat and tears.
10:
Screaming is ambiguous so it's hard to
really know what to do when someone
walks up and screams at you for no
apparent reason. You scream for
pleasure as much as pain. You
scream for attention as much as for
silence. You scream when you're
scared and you scream to scare other
people.
11:
!
====SNIPPETS OF THE STRANGE====
"Am I the only lesbian goth in
London?" -- headline spotted on
slashgoth.org, July 18, '02
"Parachutes for the car are optional.
Their ultimate goal is to drop a
Greyhound with forty people inside."
-- slashdot.org, Sept 19, '02
====INSTIGATION====
TWISTED PROMPTS
FOR SICKO WRITERS
Craft a scene where a doctor explains
to his patient why he must break his
bones. Include an unexpected tool.
A killer is holding a conversation with
his (or her) weapon of choice in a busy
public setting. What's on their minds?
Script the dialogue.
Write the diary entry of a madman;
begin by detailing some event (whether
personal or in the news) that actually
occurred in your life today. Even if you
actually went insane, fictionalize it.
====NIGHT OF THE GIVING DEAD====
Please support literacy, so that more
people can read the depraved and
corrupt ideas of dark imagineers and
frighteners everywhere. The Horror
Writers Association has partnered with
Proliteracy World-wide to sponsor an
online auction of wonderful horror
genre related items, ranging from
getting your name in a famous author's
book, to rare editions of impossible to
find miscellany. I've donated a few
nice things, short of bodily organs. It's
a good cause, after all.
Shocklines.com is sponsoring the
event until 10/9. Here's a direct link:
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/shocklines/
And here's a hot new link to go right to
the "Arnzen Horror Lot" in the auction,
which features true rarities, and a
curious spare copy of my first novel,
Grave Markings. [But I >swear< I did
NOT take a bite out of the book! Check
it out for a chuckle)]:
cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1565790011
If any Goreletter subscriber wins the
bidding on the Arnzen lot, I'll reward
you. Send me an e-mail with your
name, address and the secret
password -- "*deleted*" -- in it and I'll
supplement your bounty with a
personalized copy of another hard-to-
find Arnzen book, magazine, or other
oddity from my private stock.
C'mon, get your weird out. Bid on it
before 9/30 and help people figure out
what all those squiggles on paper
mean, would ya?
====OUR ODD TRIPLE FEATURE====
"But you NEED the deviants, Judge!"
For your next movie night, rent:\\
LENNY\\
THE PEOPLE vs. LARRY FLINT\\
AND JUSTICE FOR ALL\\
====NOT DEAD YET: PRINT REVIEWS====
Here's a cool magazine you probably
haven't seen: QUICK FICTION. This
slim, pocket-sized edition of literary
microfiction features fifteen stunning
tales under 500 words a piece. Issue
#1 features stories like Richard
Pearse's "Cat Custody" -- in which a
couple's absurd squabble over the
cat's attention turns deadly -- or Beth
Bayley's remarkable "What Tim
Haynes Found" -- a letter to the future
discovered in an attic, written by a
group of teens who share a unique
secret.
QUICK FICTION is a steal for the 2-
issue subscription price of only $6.
Issue #2 is due to be mailed any day
now. Visit jppress.org for more
info on this wonderfully brief literary
journal. Celebrate the short-short!
====WEIRD SITES OF THE MONTH====
Happy Little Clots:
thegoldenageofgrotesque.com
Web Search for Unknown Kadath:
http://www.cthuugle.com/
Trick-or-Treat, Smell my Severed Feet:
http://www.stupid.com/
====GORELETS====
"3 Sporting Haikruel"
BATTING CAGES
fathers with young boys\\
writhe in wrought iron cages\\
evading the bats\\
GUTTERBALL
head needs some polish\\
skull galumphing down alley\\
missing the bone pins\\
KITTENNIS
catgut strung racquet\\
far too heavy to volley\\
dangling the feline\\
====ARNZEN NEWS====
Flying Discs of Despair: Check out the
neat t-shirts, mugs, and, yes, frisbees
that DarkVesper Publishing has put
together to support my upcoming book,
FREAKCIDENTS, at
darkvesperpublishing.com
Speaking of FREAKCIDENTS, I just
received a great blurb (cover quote)
from James Morrow about the book:
"Welcome to the barbed brain of
Michael Arnzen, where every axon is a
steel trap, every dendrite a hidden
snare, every synapse a cul de sac, and
every myelin sheath an elixir enabling
us to find affirmation in ugliness and to
smile whenever the dog eats God's
homework."
-- James Morrow, Nebula and World
Fantasy Award winning author of THE
ETERNAL FOOTMAN and THE LAST
WITCHFINDER.
You'll find the above tattooed on my
forehead. I'll lift my bangs and flash
the audience with it before fiction
readings. And it'll be a riot if I ever go
in for brain surgery.
A handful of my short stories have
been posted on fictionwise.com -- the
premiere e-book distributor for sci-
fi/fantasy/horror -- and I've had the
honor of being a best-seller in their
horror and crime categories for the
past month. They'll be distributing my
Bram Stoker Award finalist from y2k,
PARATABLOIDS: Poetry Based on the
Weekly World News, as an e-book
sometime next month. So keep your
eyes peeled. (You can borrow my
stainless steel peeler. The good one
with the rubber grip.)
YOUR BONUS for reading: Fictionwise
offers "15% off" discounts on a special
list of e-books for readers of
Gorelets.com. The list of discounts is
updated >weekly<:
fictionwise.com/fwa/4004/
Some free stuff out soon this month:
"The Curse of Fat Face"\\
++ Vestal Review\\
http://www.vestalreview.net
"In the Middle"\\
++ Insolent Rudder\\
insolentrudder.org
"Eyeless" & "Microbescope"\\
++ Sidereality\\
sidereality.com
"Exhaling You"\\
++ The Dream People\\
http://dreampeople.org
Lots o' Halloween stuff to come around
next time.
====NEW AT GORELETS.COM====
Readers who have been following my
site have noticed that I've been playing
around with "Flash" animation a lot
lately -- as in the "Disco Inferno" e-
poem I published on the site last
month. Gorelets.com's front page now
features an interactive "handheld PDA"
that brings to life the previous Gorelets
logo. It lets you read different things
when you click on the buttons with your
mouse. It's still under development,
but if you click on the skull face icon or
the logo for "Gorelets" itself on the
main screen, you'll get some
interesting results. Feedback on this
experiment is appreciated.
Subscribers can sneak preview more
of my multimedia madness at:\\
http://www.gorelets.com/demos/demos.htm
====COLOPHON====
Thanks for scrolling so far down. Look
for issue #2 shortly before Halloween.
If you're an e-mail subscriber, forward
this issue to a friend. If you're a PDA
channel reader, beam it to someone.
This is a new project and I need you to
help spread the word.
If you're tired of this noise, then plug
your ears and UNSUBSCRIBE at:\\
gorelets.com/phunp/maillist/goreletmail.php
---
All material in The Goreletter is:
© 2002 Michael A. Arnzen, unless
otherwise noted. All rights reserved.
Permission is granted to forward the
entire contents as a whole, without
alterations. For reprint permissions,
please contact arnzen@gorelets.com.
This newsletter is formatted in one
skinny column to accommodate
handheld computer users. If you own
a PDA, try The Goreletter as a free
Mazingo channel at:
mazingo.net/pc/subscribe.php?site_id=1552&src=111
====PITHY MORBID THOUGHTS====
"Life does not cease to be funny when
people die any more than it ceases to
be serious when people laugh."
-- George Bernard Shaw (died 1950)
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