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--- goreletter:your_worst_fears [2013/11/24 12:30] – [DATA + ERRATA = DRATTA] marnzen
+++ goreletter:your_worst_fears [2013/11/29 11:33] (current) – marnzen
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+THE GORELETTER:
+Arnzen's Weird Newsletter
+http://www.gorelets.com
++++ Vol 1 #11, May 30, 2003 +++
+**Your Worst Fears**
+----
+====BLATHER====
+Blather. Wince. Repeat.
+Your Greatest Fears
+What are your greatest fears? Here's
+the oft-sited "Top Ten Fears of
+Americans," lifted from The Book of
+Lists:
+. Dogs\\
+. Loneliness\\
+. Flying\\
+. Death\\
+. Sickness\\
+. Deep Water\\
+. Financial problems\\
+. Insects and bugs\\
+. Heights\\
+. Public Speaking\\
+Sound familiar? How many of these
+are your own? How many of these do
+you exploit in others? And do you
+really have to be American to fear
+them?
+Skepticism creeps in when I think
+about lists like these. I start to think of
+all the exceptions. Besides, this list
+clearly was compiled when Cujo was a
+bestseller. Okay, perhaps not, but it
+was long before terrorism was bleeping
+on the cultural radar and I'm sure that
+today more people fear Al Qaeda than
+they do Fido.
+And then the longer I sit with it, the
+more the horror writer inside me kicks
+me in the shins with his razor-tipped
+boots and tells me that EVERYTHING
+is -- or can be -- frightening. To write
+horror, you have to be inherently
+paranoid. Even worse: the horror writer
+intuits these things and then
+complicates them so there's no
+escape: If you think "public speaking"
+is scary, then how about a sick, lonely,
+bug-infested dog speaking through
+megaphones about the dying economy
+as it flies above your ocean liner? The
+horror!
+This topic is on my mind right now
+because Tanya Twombly, a grad
+student in the writing program where I
+teach (setonhill.edu), is conducting a
+survey of people's "top ten fears" for a
+workshop that she's prepping on
+societal fears in horror. [And if you've
+got the courage to share your own top
+ten fears, e-mail Tanya right away
+(before June 21st) at:
+ttwombly@frontiernet.net]. Here's the
+first of two responses I sent her:
+. Carpal Tunnel.\\
+. Impotence.\\
+. Blindness.\\
+. Skin cancer.\\
+. Rabies.\\
+. Illiteracy (ignorance in others; losing
+my own control of language).\\
+. Old age/Senility/Alzheimer's.\\
+. Masses/Conformity.\\
+. Bees.\\
+.a. A Conformist Mass of Illiterate
+and Blind Bees that Sting my
+Cancerous Carpal Tunnel-Riddled Skin
+and Render Me Impotent until
+Alzheimer's Sets In.\\
+.b. Old, Impotent-yet-Rabid Men Who
+Have Skin Cancer and Collect Masses
+of Bees.\\
+. You.\\
+. And What You're Going To Do With
+This Information.\\
+As you can tell, I can't make it to ten
+without being a smart-ass.
+Later, she posted the question to a
+discussion board and in a moment of
+Lettermaniacal frivolity, I listed yet
+another ten -- this time taking none of it
+seriously:
+. Fear of numbered lists, bulleted
+lists, top ten lists, and all corporate
+forms of communication.\\
+. Fear of CNN.\\
+. Fear of Flying. The book.\\
+. Fear of forgetting how to count to
+ten.\\
+. Fear of information gathering,
+surveys, and so forth, falling into the
+hands of not only direct marketers, but
+also Richard Simmons.\\
+. Okay, I really just fear Richard
+Simmons' hands. Even in his "slim"
+phase, they're pudgy in an uncanny
+and disturbing way. Look at the nails if
+you don't believe me.\\
+. Fear of fear itself. Oh wait, I mean
+"Fear of repeating clichés without
+realizing it."\\
+. Fear of lawnmower noises when you
+don't see anyone in the neighborhood
+mowing their lawn.\\
+. Fear of compost.\\
+By this point, you're probably thinking
+that you'd never want a sarcastic
+bastard like me for a teacher. But there
+are reasons why I can never answer
+this question about fear straight.
+The first is a common one: horror
+writers are asked "What scares you?"
+all the damned time. As if you couldn't
+figure it out from reading our work.
+Eventually we develop stock answers
+that mean nothing, like "spiders" or
+"heights" or "absolutely nothing
+anymore -- I've become a emotionless
+lump, overdosed on my own gothic
+angst."
+I used to always say "surprises" scare
+me. That sounded generic and truthful
+enough. But it was a boring answer.
+And I also stopped getting gifts and
+surprise parties. So now the answer I
+always give is: "you." That was #1 on
+the first list I sent to Tanya. But it's also
+the stock answer I've given time and
+again. Because it's honest. People
+scare me more than anything. The
+human mind is capable of rationalizing
+virtually ANY behavior, whether we're
+talking about the individual psycho or
+the collective mass mind. Dahmer
+thought it was perfectly logical to drill a
+hole in someone's skull and pour
+hydrochloric acid into his head, in order
+to create a zombie sex slave. The
+people who build nukes think they are
+perfectly safe or even necessary for
+world peace. Rationalization is what all
+evil villains and mad scientists do. That
+capacity in mankind is what scares me
+-- and it's also laughable -- and that's
+why I write about it the way I do.
+But I have other reasons for my
+sarcasm. Like, naturally, why would I
+confess my fears to a student who
+probably fantasizes about torturing me
+day in and day out as an act of
+revenge? Why would I give >anyone<
+instructions on how to freak me out?
+Doesn't that defeat the very purpose of
+fear's fight or flight? Sometimes it's a
+call for comfort to tell people you're
+afraid (like an airline passenger might
+say "I'm really scared right now...I've
+got a fear of heights" when the plane
+takes off.) But that's also something
+that can be used against you by the
+terrorists of everyday life. ("Going up?"
+your coworkers say with a grin as they
+press the top button on the elevator
+panel and block you from pressing
+anything lower....). Unless you're a
+masochist or a liar you simply do not
+confess your fears.
+And, secondly, fear is something that's
+in a perpetual state of flux, isn't it? It's
+unstable. That's part of what makes it
+scary. And that's what makes a top ten
+list different every day. One moment I
+fear that terrorists are on the plane; the
+next I fear the pilots are drunk. One
+moment I fear E. Coli in the sandwich I
+eat; the next I fear the chemical
+cleanser I just washed my hands with.
+You just can't win.
+I'm not paranoid. I just think a lot about
+possibilities...and anything's possible.
+So it's hard to whittle fear down to ten
+easy-to-swallow caplets. Maybe that's
+why I keep writing fiction and poetry...
+to struggle with the complexities of
+fear.
+The great Ray Bradbury, however,
+once recommended this "listing"
+technique as a way of coming up with
+ideas for stories. In his article, "The
+Thing at the Top of the Stairs," he
+claims that if you list your childhood
+fears in the form of nouns, you'll have
+plenty of titles to get you started on a
+good story. So he lists things like The
+Lake, The Night, The Cricket, The
+Basement, The Baby, The Crowd, The
+Carnival, etc.
+Of course, a crowd of carnival
+sideshow babies chirping like insane
+crickets as they shamble wet out of a
+lake at night would make quite a horror
+story.
+[ Are you afraid to click on unattributed
+links you get in email? Get over it and
+click here for the top ten phobias:
+<del>hub.lcp.linst.ac.uk/keythemes/phobia/</del> ]
+====WEIRD SITES OF THE MONTH====
+Lego Death
+http://www.digitalstuff.com/brainchild/legodeath.html
+Lego Torture
+<del>blockdeath.com/</del>
+Lego Machine Gun
+<del>silverlight.org/Cray/lego/machinegun.asp</del>
+Lego Robotics
+<del>cs.uu.nl/people/markov/lego/challenge/index.html</del>
+Lego Escher
+<del>lipsons.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/lego.htm</del>
+Lego Mysticism
+<del>annabeth.co.uk/playtarot/gallery.html</del>
+====INSTIGATION: TWISTED PROMPTS FOR SICKO WRITERS====
++ A man walks into a convenience
+store, a bodily organ in his hand
+(whether it's attached to him or not is
+up to you). Write the scene from the
+perspective of the clerk behind the
+counter.
++ Take the horror cliché, 'makes my
+skin crawl,' and literalize it. Or,
+alternatively, dramatize something
+nasty getting under a character's skin.
++ Brainstorm a list of at least five ways
+you'd hate to die. Combine two.
+Imagine the worst. Make it happen in
+prose.
+[Instigation is now a WEEKLY
+department in Hellnotes newsletter:
+http://www.hellnotes.com ]
+====NOT DEAD YET: PRINT REVIEWS====
+I'm breathless from reading Lance
+Olsen's new short fiction collection,
+Hideous Beauties, in one extended
+sitting. It's a dark, dynamic, exploratory
+and ultimately experimental work of
+fiction that -- in a phrase -- refuses to
+look away. And that made it very
+difficult for me to put down.
+The oxymoron in the title, Hideous
+Beauties, defines what thematically
+binds these twelve short stories
+together: an attraction for that which
+would otherwise be repellent (and vice
+versa). It's an aesthetic that the freak
+show and the horror genre are
+fundamentally built upon, but Olsen's
+book is more than any mere freak
+show, more than any simple collection
+of tall tales. It's an exploration of
+ugliness that refuses to look away until
+it pins down the truth. In fact, it actively
+gets us to look closer than we
+otherwise might at the grotesque.
+Like many of Olsen's books, HB
+audaciously bends the rules of
+language and form, playing with
+structure on a journey toward fresh
+insights the way an experimental artist
+might mix media. The structuring
+device of this collection is a little
+reminiscent of his most recent
+slipstream collaboration with artist (and
+his significant other) Andi Olsen, a
+novel called Girl, Imagined by Chance.
+In Girl, the Olsens created a series of
+rendered photographs, which
+sequenced the novel like a family
+album or child's scrapbook, each
+image followed by a chapter that was
+in every way about the photograph -- if
+not photography itself. In that novel,
+the narrative traces the way a couple
+deceives a distant grandmother that
+they have had a child -- and
+themselves in the process -- when in
+fact, they've only manipulated photos
+of kids and send them back to Granny.
+It's a masterful novel, at once a
+touching love story and scathing
+indictment of "compulsory parenting" in
+our culture, in addition to being, among
+other things, a spiritual autobiography,
+a work of art criticism, and a bound
+exhibit of Andi's work.
+In Hideous Beauties we're treated to a
+similar conceit: each short story is
+inspired by a work of grotesque art
+(most of which is only referenced in a
+dedication to the artist, not actually
+reprinted). The art of the opening and
+closing stories is generated by Andi
+Olsen's brilliantly twisted imagination,
+and it's merged with Lance's writing in
+a collage of words and images. These
+pieces (which have appeared in Fiction
+International and Yellow Bat Review)
+can best be called a "surrealist
+illuminated manuscript," which is what
+this book as a whole in many ways
+purports to be. In other pieces, we get
+direct reference to famous paintings,
+like Two Children Menaced by a
+Nightingale, which opens by actually
+discussing the color patterns in Max
+Ernst's famous collage of the same title
+before launching into a nightmarish
+tale about a father and daughter. At
+other times, the poetic layout of
+Olsen's writing mimics the structure in
+the artwork referenced, as in the dual
+columned story, "The State Hospital"
+(inspired by a strange alien/comic book
+piece by Edward Kienholz). The same
+can be said about the radically over-
+organized "Sketch of A Flying
+Machine" (you guessed it: by DaVinci)
+which is presented in outline form,
+numerals and all. From typography to
+narratology, text is an artistic playing
+field for Olsen's verbal gymnastics,
+combining his background in literary
+theory with his (or is it our culture's?)
+fascination for the spectacle of the
+strange. As the epigraph suggests,
+"Freaks are just like us, only more so."
+From the experimentation with form to
+the bright imagery, Olsen's writing
+begs to be read as art -- or to have the
+reader at least contemplate how art
+produces meaning -- at every turn. Its
+imagery -- "hideous" as it might be --
+seduces the senses with its precision
+and honesty. No one describes colors
+like Olsen. Words are paint on his
+palette and his choices are just right. In
+the opening tale, "Village of the
+Mermaids," we're given "warm
+smudged air green-blue as sadness"
+and "whitewashed mountains beyond
+the cocaine-white beach in the
+distance." In another story, colors
+become verbs as air "lilacs" around the
+protagonist.
+But it's not just poetry and an imagistic
+fascination that marks this book as
+unique. The surrealist plotting and
+humorous tone are very rewarding,
+too. My favorite story in the collection
+is inspired by the fragmentation
+inherent to the uncanny image of Hans
+Bellmer's twisted "The Doll," which
+inspired Olsen's tale, "The Doll, or:
+What the Dead Think About at the End
+of the World." To explain this
+hilariously dark story would be to give
+away too much of the fantastic and
+surprising plot. But let's just say it's
+Stephen King's "Survivor Type" meets
+Kubrick's turned love story, as a
+couple's desire for something new in
+their banal relationship takes a
+disastrous turn. And it will definitely
+have you rethinking your relationship
+with your pinkie toes.
+You can still catch a few excerpts from
+this book online -- and when you read
+the collection, I recommend calling up
+the art referenced in the book on the
+internet, too. Visit Lance and Andi
+Olsen's freaknest at cafezeitgeist.com
+to see just how strange and hideous
+this beautiful book really is. Highly
+recommended for those who are truly
+on the lookout for something radically
+new. That's why you go to the freak
+show, isn't it? Searching for something
+unique in a world that requires the
+courage to never look away.
+Hideous Beauties by Lance Olsen.
+Eraserhead Press, 2003. Trade
+paperback. Color cover and interior
+illos by Andi Olsen. 200 pgs. $13.95
+http://www.eraserheadpress.com
+http://lanceolsen.com
+====GORELETS: Unpleasant Poems====
+Checking Out
+No lines at our express check out.\\
+Here you would impulse buy many\\
+lively products if you still had a pulse.\\
+Our gum is far staler than you but the\\
+fashion zines advertise nothing new --\\
+the same old glamorous zombies.\\
+Paper or plastic? Want change?\\
+Our afterworld market is open 24 hours\\
+a night and perpetually pretends you\\
+can take it with you, for a price.\\
+But you're also always discounted:\\
+Half off here, half off there, before\\
+you're all sold out, before you're all\\
+gone.\\
+====ONLINE GIZMO OF THE MONTH====
+"The Darkly Gothic Crossword"
+This is one tough -- and blasphemous -
+- little puzzle, brought to you by the
+dark comedians behind the Dead
+Lounge and Sarco's Blood Bar and
+Grill. "The Darkly Gothic Crossword" is
+an online puzzle where every answer
+is taken straight out of the jargon of
+Goth culture and, literally, from
+beyond. It's designed to torment you
+with what it calls "the most
+depressingly perplexing morbid-
+minded crossword puzzle known to our
+darkened world." It will have you
+digging around in your Dictionary of the
+Dead, or turning -- dare I speak it's
+name? -- to the damned pages of the
+dread Necrosswordicon, in search of
+answers to its arcane and Eldritch
+clues. I doubt you'll be able to score
+more than 15 answers from memory.
+But it's worth a stab, anyway. (Don't
+worry -- they give you clues...).
+My only complaint? No entry for 666
+Down.
+http://www.deadlounge.com/deadlounge/crossword.html
+[Requires the Macromedia Flash 5
+Player -- it will auto-install if you don't
+have it already (you probably do)].
+====ARNZEN NEWS====
++ SPORTUARY is the name of a new
+poetry collection I just finished writing
+that Cyber-Pulp will be publishing later
+in the year. This e-book will feature
+surreal color artwork by the illustrious
+Marcia Borell and contain poems with
+titles like "Satan's the Catcher," and
+"Fearleader Camp" and "Shockey." (A
+few haiku from this collection appeared
+in the very first Goreletter last
+September). Check out the sneak
+preview page at gorelets.com:
+<del>gorelets.com/demos/sportuarysampler.htm</del>
++ Gorelets: Unpleasant Poetry is now
+slotted for an October release from
+Fairwood Press. And I'm happy to
+announce that Double Dragon
+Publishing will concurrently release an
+e-book version...with twenty-one bonus
+Gorelets, on top of the other fifty-two!
+http://www.fairwoodpress.com
+http://www.double-dragon-ebooks.com
+<del>gorelets.com/gorelets/retro/retro.htm</del>
++ "Julia, Daughter of..." is the clever
+title of an anthology, edited by G.W.
+Thomas of "FlashShot" fame. It
+presents interpretations by various
+poets of an epitaph found on an old
+tombstone in a forgotten country
+cemetery. My interpretation of what
+Julia might be a daughter of is in my
+contribution, entitled "Hate Clone." Go
+figure. This e-book is hot off the ether
+from Cyber-Pulp. (I'll also appear in
+their upcoming antho of dark road
+stories, Wicked Wheels, in the near
+future):
+<del>cyberpulp.netfirms.com/index2.html</del>
+<del>flashshot.tripod.com/</del>
++ If you liked the free "Gentle
+Monsters" chapbook illustrations at
+Sidereality, you'll LOVE Matt
+Schuster's DAILY sketches of even
+more monstrous monstrosities! Check
+this artist out and share your horrified
+reactions in his new live journal.
+<del>sidereality.com</del>
+http://www.mpsindustries.com
++ I'll be attending the Horrorfind
+Convention in Baltimore, August 15-17.
+If you're anywhere near Poe's former
+haunt, my reading is on Sunday
+afternoon.
+http://horrorfindweekend.com/
++ "FREAKCIDENTS TRANSCENDS
+HORROR...What is so brilliant about
+this collection is how Arnzen uses
+literal outside descriptions of the freaks
+to describe the internal alienation and
+awkwardness of humans." -- Mike
+Purfield, B-Independent.com
+Feel the fiend. Touch the terror.
+Caress the carnage. Go to DarkVesper
+Publishing or Shocklines.com and
+order Freakcidents: A Surrealist
+Sideshow today:
+<del>darkvesperpublishing.com</del>
+http://www.shocklines.com
+====SNIPPETS OF THE STRANGE====
+Things I Said When Hyped Up On
+Krispy Kreme Donuts and Coffee, 5/25
+"Why don't Americans trust people in
+bow ties? I'll tell you why. Because
+pets and clowns wear them, that's
+why."
+"You've heard of the glass ceiling, no?
+Well I have an ass ceiling and I hit my
+head on it often."
+"Hear that song? That's The Loving
+Spoonful. But what does the Hating
+Forkful play? That's what I wanna
+know!"
+[ Thanks to Becca Baker, the best note
+taker I've ever met, for actually
+transcribing when I wasn't looking. ]
+====LET'S TRADE====
+EIGHTY of you took me up on my offer
+last issue to include links on
+gorelets.com as a way of saying
+thanks for reading. You're entitled to
+have a mention on my site just for
+indulging me with this newsletter. So
+send me an e-mail request with your
+name and your URL and I'll add you!
+<del>gorelets.com/gorelets/knuckles.htm</del>
+I encourage you to surf these pages...
+you might be surprised by the people
+who are on this list!
+Naturally, I'd appreciate a link back to
+gorelets.com. To add a "button" on
+your page, include this HTML code:
+<del>gorelets.com/gorelets/gorelets-sm-banner.jpg</del>
+====DATA + ERRATA = DRATTA====
+Instigated this month by a prompt from
+The Goreletter:
+"Rhymes Kill" by John Edward Lawson
+<del>house-of-pain.com/fictionarchives/2003/03-10-03.html</del>
+Likewise, in an homage to my
+chapbook, Paratabloids, poet Terrie
+Leigh Relf reports that a poem she
+wrote based on a Weekly World News
+headline -- "Bigfoot Captures Sexy
+Camper for his Love Slave" -- will be
+published in a future issue of
+Sidereality.com. I recently read Terrie's
+new e-book, Metro Madness, and
+enjoyed it quite a bit. Relf shows a flair
+for delivering foreboding concepts and
+twisted images in tight little packages
+like this haiku:
+ancient mating ritual\\
+two enter the cocoon\\
+one emerges\\
+Simple, no? But one >what< emerges?
+Her book is full of dark snippets and
+snapshot images of terror. And the
+accompanying art features twisted
+children's drawings and simplistic clay
+figurine photos that lend the whole
+book an unsettling tone. Relf's dark
+side is black as charcoal and she's a
+poet to watch. A disturbing read!
+<del>toadmama_pooh.tripod.com/bloodletterspressandelfhelperinc/</del>
+====BOO COUPONS====
+It actually pays to scroll this far down.
+FLESH AND BLOOD PRESS
+Your response was so strong last
+month that Flesh and Blood Press is
+now making a knockout NEW
+exclusive offer to readers of The
+Goreletter: get all available back issues
+of Flesh & Blood magazine for 30% off
+and any of the F&B book titles for 35%
+off. Free shipping and handling on all
+purchases. Please send payment
+made out to Jack Fisher with a note
+mentioning this discount to: Jack
+Fisher, 121 Joseph St., Bayville, NJ
+<del>fleshandbloodpress.com</del>
+DARK ANIMUS MAGAZINE
+One of the best new horror magazine's
+of the year -- Dark Animus -- will give
+you $3 off a postage paid subscription
+(from Australia). That means a year's
+worth of dread for only $15! DA
+contributors have included myself,
+Graham Masterton, Mark McLaughlin,
+Tim Curran, and others. You can begin
+your sub with back issues, too. To get
+your discount, include the phrase
+"goreletter" in your correspondence or
+order form available at:
+http://darkanimus.com/
+SHOCKLINES BOOKSTORE
+Shocklines.com's exclusive coupon for
+this month is a real treat for fans of the
+classic Weird Tales magazine and the
+works of HP Lovecraft. Through July
+st, visit shocklines.com and if you
+enter coupon code GOREMASTER
+when you check out, you'll get $4 off
+the already discounted hardcover
+edition of Arkham's Masters of Horror!
+Here's a direct link for more info:
+<del>store.yahoo.net/shocklines/armasofhorbr.html</del>
+FICTIONWISE E-BOOKS
+Fictionwise.com's 15% off page for
+Goreleteers is updated weekly. This
+week's features include free -- FREE! -
+- Hugo Award nominees in ebook
+format, along with stories by dark
+fiction writers Tim Waggoner, Bruce
+Boston, Mark Sanchez, and more:
+<del>fictionwise.com/fwa/4004/</del>
+CEMETERY POETS ANTHO
+Take 10% off the new hardcover book,
+Cemetery Poets, by visiting this hidden
+exclusive ordering page on my site:
+<del>gorelets.com/demos/cempoesale.html</del>
+WRITE AGAIN SOFTWARE
+Are you a writer? Try Write Again
+manuscript organizing software and
+get a 10% rebate when you register if
+you tell them that Arnzen's newsletter
+sent you! A very practical product.
+http://www.asmoday.com/
+====COLOPHON====
+All material in The Goreletter is:
+© 2003 Michael A. Arnzen, unless
+otherwise noted. All rights reserved.
+Permission is granted to forward the
+entire contents as a whole, without
+alterations or excisions. For reprint
+permissions of individual pieces,
+please contact arnzen@gorelets.com.
+This newsletter is formatted in one
+skinny column to accommodate
+handheld computer users. If you own a
+PDA, try The Goreletter as a free
+Mazingo channel at:
+<del>mazingo.net/pc/subscribe.php?site_id=1552&src=111</del>
+Subscribe, unsubscribe, and shout out
+about The Goreletter at:
+http://www.gorelets.com
+Our surrealist product endorsement:
+http://thesurrealist.co.uk/priorart.cgi?ref=The+Goreletter
+====PITHY MORBID THOUGHTS====
+"A man is not completely born until he
+is dead." -- Ben Franklin (died 1790)
+----
+{{page>gfoot&nodate&nouser}}