Posted inArnzen News

A Toast to Raw Dog Screaming…and a Discount!

If you'll indulge me for a moment: please pick up your wine glass, water bottle or coffee mug. I want to raise a high toast to a great publisher. This year marks Raw Dog Screaming Press' fifth anniversary. Anyone who knows the independent press, knows that simply surviving that long -- especially in today's publishing economy -- is a true milestone of success. I'm proud to be one of their authors, an early runt of their raw puppy litter -- and when I think about how far they've gone to support my experiments in horror, I am not only humbled,…
June 24, 2008Posted inArnzen News

"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time." -- George Carlin (died June 2008)

Spit Happens
Posted inDictionscary

funicular

"Funicular." It starts with fun, so it can't be bad, right? Wrong. That would be like sticking your head in a raging furnace, hoping to see a fern.  Chances are 80-20 that if something is "-icular" it is going to be nasty. You know what I mean:  cancerous prefixes like "test-" or "mast-" -- and manslaughtery ones like "vehi-" or "curr-" -- all leap immediately to mind. But to be "funicular," in particular, is to be ropey and nasty. The root of the word is "funicle," which in botany is a term that refers to the stalk of an ovule or seed. In…
June 21, 2008Posted inDictionscary
Posted inOnline Gizmo of the Month

Dead Cat Bounce

If shooting a frail little kittie out of a high-powered cannon is your idea of fun, then just wait until you try Dan Fleming's "Kitten Cannon" game -- where the aim is not only to watch the fuzzball fly, but to make that feline soar as far as possible by ricocheting its body off of trampolines, bombs, and TNT stockpiles...but look out for the Venus Fly Traps and metal spike pits! I'm a cat lover and I can't seem to stop playing this game long enough to finish my letter to the ASPCA.  Ah well, maybe it isn't so bad: this tortured…
June 19, 2008Posted inOnline Gizmo of the Month
Posted inInstigation

Twisted Prompts for Sicko Writers (26)

+ Write about a WOMAN-eating plant (as opposed to just a man-eater). + Everyone says they're afraid of clowns.  What are clowns scared of?  Depict their worst nightmare. + Ever heard the expression, "Let your freak flag fly"?  Write a story or poem about a freak nation and its hallowed flag.  (Option: try drawing or describing the iconography of the flag before you begin). *** Review the entire "Instigation" department where you can now post your writing!
June 18, 2008Posted inInstigation