Posted inBlather

Weird Juice

Stabble Fungalberry Kiweird Cocktail Poisonberry Phlegmonaid (With Extra Pulp) Embalmigranate Bashin' Berry Scabapple Scrape Juice Angerine Spineapple Strango Slaughtermelon Smoothie Crampelope Slimeade Neck Nectar Horrange Slitrus Lime Gaspberry Upchuck Cherry Slopical Punch Scarfruit Granbury Scarrot Leech
July 25, 2010Posted inBlather1 Comment
Posted inBlather

Return of the Son of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Cthulhu the Obscure A Connecticut Devil in King Arthur's Inferno The Golden Bowl of Blood The Isle of Dr. Moreau and Mr. Hyde As I Lay Resurrecting Creature from the Walden Pond Of Mice and Tentacles A Midsummer Night's Scream Jane Weyrewolf Oedipus Rex: The Boy With the X-Ray Eyes Uncle Tom's Cannibal Cabin A Poison Clockwork Orange Rabid Animal Farm Lord of the Giant Flies Clone King Richard the Thirtieth A Morgue of One's Own ** With irreverence for: Quirk Classics. [Update: The literati among you might also appreciate this essay at the 'Jane Austen's World' blog.]
October 12, 2009Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Classic Car Accident Ad Slogans

Have You Driven A F*rd Over A Stroller Lately? This Is Your Late Father's *ldsmobile. V*lvo. For Life Support. Killt F*rd Slough. Ch*vy. The Last Heartbeat of America. Chummer -- Like Nothing Else! Ponti*c. We Are Driving Excrement. Grab Life By The Horns. That Won't Stop Honking. Sa*b. Move Your Mind. Off My Lap. B*W. The Ultimate Chicken Machine. V*lkswagon. Drivers Haunted. Juice in Engineering. *udi. C*dillac. When You Turn Your Car Off, Does It Return The Favor? Unlike Any Other. Mortcedez Endz. B*ick. Drive Beautiful. Into Crowds. The All New Ch*vy. Built to Last Breath. H*nda. The Power Of…
June 14, 2009Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Rejected Wack-ee Packages

PRODUCT NAME: Toast Tito's Corn Chips ARTWORK: Corn Chip Bag brimming with crisped brown foot ailments. REASON FOR REJECTION: Too sick, even for us. The pictured dip is...worse. PRODUCT NAME: Axe Devitalizing Shower Gel ARTWORK: "Psycho" shower scene with axe-wielding maniac in silhouette behind a curtain. REASON FOR REJECTION: This is more an idea than a product parody. Besides, Axe is for men, and the sudsy nude in the shower is cleary female. PRODUCT NAME: BloodGeyser ARTWORK: Brown bottle spraying blood from top. REASON FOR REJECTION: Not bad, but pun is too easy. It would help if the bottle wasn't…
June 5, 2008Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Grim Henzen Productions

Wormit the Legless Frog Everybody's lovable green buddy crawls back from the grave on his two lanky arms, his backside grotesquely tapered much like the tadpole he once was. He haunts the parking lots of French restaurants...and in his nasal-congested voice cries out for "leggggsss!" He leaves a snotty trail behind him. He is frequently run over by cars. Googee Monster He chaotically throws fistfuls of cookies into his mouth, munching wildly, growling "Gooooogeeee." Sometimes you can see his razor-sharp teeth cutting into his own bloody gums. And sometimes you see human fingers jumbling in the mouth fuzz, and they're…
March 9, 2008Posted inBlather