Blather

I love women, and I enjoy fish, but for some reason I hate mermaids. They're some of the most horrifying of animal-human hybrids. I mean, they're scaly. And they smell -- well -- like fish! I don't care how good they are at singing and swimming and strategically arranging their lengthy hair, they're gross little monsters. Yet their legend endures. We still get slurred reports from drunken sailors who spot them in the seven seas. And little kiddies everywhere believe in Ariel, the so-called "Little Mermaid" (who isn’t little enough to step on, unfortunately). But get this straight: if mermaids…