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--- goreletter:halloween_dreams [2013/11/24 13:01] – [PITHY MORBID THOUGHTS] marnzen
+++ goreletter:halloween_dreams [2013/11/29 12:08] (current) – marnzen
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+THE GORELETTER:
+Arnzen's Weird Newsletter
+http://www.gorelets.com
++++ Vol 1.3, Nov. 13, 2002 +++
+**Halloween Dreams**
+----
+====BLATHER====
+Blather. Wince. Repeat.
+Halloween Costumes
+I Wish I Would Have Seen
++ Pushpinhead\\
++ Sumo Uncle Fester\\
++ The SlimJim Reaper\\
++ Shattered Stunt Man Skeleton\\
++ Apple Sauce\\
++ Osama Been Rotting\\
++ Transvestite "Double-Yuh"\\
++ Fixed Lethargic Cat\\
++ Drawn and Quartered Gladiator\\
++ Suicidal Van Helsing\\
++ Quivering Giblets in Blood Gravy\\
++ Zombie Homeless Man\\
+(with "Will Work for Brains" sign)\\
++ My Very Own Doppelganger\\
++ Plaque\\
+====OUR ODD TRIPLE FEATURE====
+"Creepy 'Short-tailed' Cats"
+For your next movie night, rent:\\
+Cat's Eye (1985)\\
+Two Evil Eyes (1990)\\
+Tales from the Darkside (1990)\\
+====SADISTIC STATISTICS====
+Number of Friday the 13th movies
+produced by 2003: 11
+Total body count in the Friday the 13th
+films to date: 133
+Total number of decapitations in the
+Friday the 13th series: only 4
+Maximum number of steps a beheaded
+body can take after decapitation: 32
+Highest number of public beheadings
+in a single year (1995) in Saudi Arabia:
+***
+Sources: pravda.ru 9/2/02; Guardian
+UK 10/24/99; Friday the 13th Web
+/09/02; imdb.com 11/09/02.
+====GORELETS====
+Sketching the Mutant Nude
+surrounded, sweaty under lamplight,\\
+pseudo-woman slowly pulls open\\
+her robe strings and sits on a stool\\
+as the stained terrycloth cascades\\
+down to reveal pertly perfect breasts\\
+resting atop an abdominal abomination\\
+until a third hand reaches around\\
+from her back to snuff the button eye\\
+that dilates and rolls so wetly to ogle\\
+those who would dare recreate her\\
+====SNIPPETS OF THE STRANGE====
+"Love bugs come alive here in May
+and September. No other creature will
+eat them. They copulate in midair for
+hours, on average, then look to lay
+eggs in anything rotten. But they
+mistake exhaust fumes for rot and
+swarm all over the roads, igniting a
+twice-yearly car-gunk crisis."
+-- San Francisco Chronicle, 7/02
+"Don't want to wear your favorite
+disease around your neck? Matching
+underwear is also available."
+-- Thisistrue.com, 11/02
+"Brain cells don't blow up after five
+minutes, nor (unfortunately) do they
+issue up little cellular ghosts, shaped
+like little neurons, but wispy and
+transparent and with blank eye holes."
+-- sci.med Usenet newsgroup, 5/16/97
+====ONLINE GIZMO OF THE MONTH====
+"The Intestine Creator"
+This "useless" interactive online toy
+makes uncanny renderings of
+intestines in an impossible array of
+colors -- just like they do in medical
+diagrams. To make it work at its
+digestive best, draw a pretzel several
+times with your mouse using a
+mustard-colored brush:
+http://www.urban75.com/Mag/shock1.html
+[Requires the "Shockwave" player -- a
+free add-on to your browser that will
+auto-install upon arrival. No worries.]
+====NOT DEAD YET: PRINT REVIEWS====
+"Literary Lights" are actual matchbooks
+of matchbook-sized fiction. Published
+by Gargoyle Daily, these unique
+flamers feature four short-short stories
+(printed in a limited edition of 4000
+matchbooks (1K per tale)). They're
+sure to "strike up" conversation the
+next time someone asks, "Got a light?"
+Just hand them one of these artistic
+objects and you'll literally enlighten
+them.
+The conceit is brilliant. The stories -- all
+under 100 words -- are printed on the
+inside of the matchbook, which is
+functional yet parodic. (You are told by
+the underleaf to "Open Cover Before
+Reading"). On the outside is a
+thoughtful image of a gargoyle and a
+label that promotes the publisher's
+website, "Gargoyle Arts & Letters."
+The four teensy tales themselves are
+genuinely high quality literature and
+definitely worth the cost (at a quarter a
+pop, it's not like you're setting your
+wallet on fire). In Joseph Faria's
+touchingly subtle "Hands," a family
+dysfunction is revealed in a memory of
+a father's big hard hands. Good
+kitchen candle reading. In Bob
+Thurber's piece, "Good Advice," a
+father's words of wisdom are spelled
+out in ten hilariously apt snippets worth
+musing over while the logs in the
+fireplace ignite. Andrew L. Wilson
+presents a great tale of the fantastic in
+"The Further Adventures of the
+Incredible Shrinking Man" with
+hilariously ironic results. Perfect for the
+camper who wants a little night
+reading. And Mary Kelly's "Seduction"
+is an erotic exploration of food --
+perfect, I suppose, for reading during
+an after dinner smoke.
+Although works of literary mainstream,
+the tales seem to represent a range of
+genres, from the science fiction
+comedy of "Shrinking Man" to the
+romantic promise of "Seduction."
+The matches work well. The striker is
+sure. The stories are so good, I doubt
+anyone will burn them. And I am
+certain matchbook collectors will
+cherish these little gems.
+Gargoyle Daily mails one set of four
+matchbooks for a buck-fifty ($1.50 US)
+which includes postage. Discounts for
+bulk. Visit their website for ordering
+info: <del>gargoyledaily.org/</del>
+====WEIRD SITES OF THE MONTH====
+Odd Artists Taking Odd Requests.
+Acting.
+http://www.emotioneric.com/
+Photographing.
+<del>whatshouldiputonthefence.com</del>
+Drawing.
+http://www.explodingdog.com/
+====INSTIGATION: TWISTED PROMPTS FOR SICKO WRITERS====
+What if -- via genetic mutation -- an
+organic "optical illusion" was created?
+Describe an original one. Make it do
+something nasty to someone else.
+It's common knowledge that serial
+killers often torture pets or insects in
+their youth. Write a scene where an
+animal tortures such a kid, instead.
+Fun with Onomatopoeia: How many
+weapons (or potential weapons) can
+you list that sound like what they are
+intended to do? (silly example: Skil
+Drill). Write a poem or experimental
+prose piece based on this list. Or a
+story about a poetic killer.
+====ARNZEN NEWS====
++ My "Year's Best Horror Stories"
+selection, "Spring Ahead, Fall Back,"
+hit #1 in the bestselling horror e-book
+charts at Fictionwise.com over
+Halloween weekend. It's slipped down
+by now, I'm sure. But if you read it:
+thanks! If not, it's still available at:
+<del>fictionwise.com/servlet/mw?t=author&ai=1527&id=4004</del>
++ FlashShot Daily is a neat way to get
+very short genre stories in your inbox
+every day. I've already had two stories
+published there and two more are
+coming out soon. For more info, visit:
+http://www.gwthomas.org/flashshotindex.htm
++ Macabre magazine came in the mail
+from Singapore yesterday.and it's a
+really fun-but-disturbing read. Two of
+my poems lurk inside: an insectoid
+horror called "Bookworm" and a
+strange thinkpiece, "Terms They Never
+Illustrate in Dictionaries" (What would
+you guess they are?). Get weird at:
+<del>allegrapress.com</del>
++ Like Peter Straub? Feeling
+academic? The latest issue of
+Paradoxa is out with my review of Bill
+Sheehan's book about Straub (the
+World Fantasy Award winning study, At
+the Foot of the Story Tree). It also
+includes a great study by my friend
+Kate Sullivan on the "monstrous
+feminine" in Straub's fiction. Indeed, I
+highly recommend the whole "Horror"
+issue of Paradoxa if you've got any
+academic interest in the genre. Look
+over the contents list here:
+http://www.paradoxa.com
++ I've placed nearly a chapbook's
+worth of work (a whopping 18 poems
+and 5 vignettes) in a hardbound
+anthology called Cemetery Poets due
+to be published March 2003 by Double
+Dragon Publishing. http://double-dragon-ebooks.com/
+All poets in this
+collection are using the "Fridge of the
+Damned" at my website for at least
+one of their entries in the book. See
+the neat color cover here:
+http://www.gorelets.com/demos/CemPoetsCoverFin.jpg
++ Earlier this week, I put the finishing
+touches on an introduction to a new
+horror poetry book entitled,
+Pitchblende: Songs of Flesh Bone and
+Blood, by multi-award winning poet
+Bruce Boston. I selected the best
+horror poems reflecting the range of
+Boston's horror poetry over the past
+decade and arranged the contents into
+an interesting melange. The book is
+seeking a publisher, but sure to get
+picked up in a snap.
++ Also recommended: Dark Animus
+magazine, which debuted from
+Australian publisher James Cain this
+week. Marcia Borell's "Munch mask"
+illustration to accompany my poem,
+"Scream 6," is just gore-geous! See:
+http://www.darkanimus.com
+====DATA & ERRATA====
+My new story, "The Boblin," which I
+mentioned in my Halloween card last
+month, will no longer appear in
+Switch.Blade, fictionwise's original e-
+book anthology (the whole book was
+dropped for various logical reasons by
+the editor). I'll alert you when the tale
+places elsewhere. The Switch.Blade
+series itself is not dead -- the next
+edition is likely to appear on
+fictionwise.com around Valentine's
+Day, with some offbeat romance tales.
+====NEW AT GORELETS.COM====
++ "Really, Really Badminton" is the
+most recent poem hidden in the gory
+handheld on the Gorelets front page.
+It's part of a series of sports-related
+fantasy/horror poems I'm working on,
+so expect to see more of them from
+time to time.
++ I recently discovered a trick to using
+"The Refrigerator of the Damned." If
+you're using Internet Explorer, it should
+work for you, too. Click on the
+immediate right of the scroll bar that
+runs vertically up the center of the
+page. Drag it to the left. This should
+give you a little bit more work room for
+the playing field.
+====BOO COUPONS====
+It actually pays to scroll this far down.
+SHOCKLINES.COM offers up a
+coupon for you and you alone:
+"Nancy Collins' new collection,
+Knuckles and Tales, is now out from
+CD Publications -- in a signed, limited
+edition of only 600 autographed
+copies. Artwork by JK Potter. Normally
+retails for $40.00; Shocklines.com sells
+it for $34.00. But for Gorelets readers
+only, until 11:59 PM November 26th, if
+you have Knuckles and Tales in your
+shopping cart and use the coupon
+code GORELETKNUCK, you'll get
+ANOTHER $6.00 off the price -- so you
+get this great signed, limited edition for
+only $28.00! (International orders
+should email help@shocklines.com for
+a shipping quote -- and mention this
+coupon code to get the $28 price)"
+Knuckles and Tales @ Shocklines:
+<del>store.yahoo.com/shocklines/knucandtalby1.html</del>
+WILDSIDE PRESS -- publisher of my
+collection, Fluid Mosaic -- kindly offers
+Goreletter subscribers a one-time 10%
+discount coupon! Enter the coupon
+code ARNZEN at check out:
+http://www.wildsidepress.com/
+FICTIONWISE's list of ebook discounts
+for Goreletter readers, updated weekly:
+<del>fictionwise.com/fwa/4004/</del>
+====FEED YOUR DEAD====
+Wanna get your hands on a SIGNED
+copy of my short story collection, Fluid
+Mosaic? I've got two on hand for sale.
+Order a copy through me and I'll
+include a few Literary Lights (see this
+issue's review), a collectible "World
+Horror Convention 1996" notepad and
+five hilarious "Get Out of Hell Free"
+cards for the next time you land on
+life's Chance. No lie. After these two
+books sell, I can still provide
+autographed copies + the Hell cards,
+but the other freebies are limited to the
+first two orders. To get your book, you
+MUST use PayPal to remit $15 US to
+arnzen@gorelets.com (this price
+includes postage!). If you're not a
+PayPal user, click here to sign up:
+https://www.paypal.com/refer/pal=MVGRAYAWYXPLE
+Promise you won't burn the book with
+the Literary Lights. ]:-<
+====COLOPHON====
+All material in The Goreletter is:
+c 2002 Michael A. Arnzen, unless
+otherwise noted. All rights reserved.
+Permission is granted to forward the
+entire contents as a whole, without
+alterations. For reprint permissions,
+please contact arnzen@gorelets.com.
+This newsletter is formatted in one
+skinny column to accommodate
+handheld computer users. If you own a
+PDA, try The Goreletter as a free
+Mazingo channel at:
+<del>mazingo.net/pc/subscribe.php?site_id=1552&src=111</del>
+Subscribe, unsubscribe, and shout out
+about The Goreletter at:
+http://www.gorelets.com
+====PITHY MORBID THOUGHTS====
+"Health nuts are going to feel stupid
+someday, lying in hospitals dying of
+nothing." -- Redd Foxx (died 1991)
+----
+{{page>gfoot&nodate&nouser}}