Table of Contents
THE GORELETTER:
Michael Arnzen's Weird Newsletter
+++Vol. 13.1 | April 2021+++
Resurfacing
BLATHER
Welcome to the premiere issue of the newly rebooted Goreletter!
If you’re a new subscriber and want to see what you’ve missed, the complete back issues are now archived on The Repository at my website, gorelets.com. There, you’ll notice that most recent issue is four years old.
FOUR years…really? Where did you go, Arnzen?
Well, I was not aboard missing Flight MH370, as many at the time believed. Back in 2017, Trump was inaugurated, giving Planet Earth a collective concussion, so you probably forgot a lot about what happened. You probably missed the “fake news” reports about my adventure. I was assisting the DEA in the capture of El Chapo down south, when Hurricane Irma swept me up and dropped me down in lost continent of Zealandia, where I have basically lived underwater ever since, blowing musical bubbles from my refashioned copper Smoke Helmet. Luckily, this device also worked as a respiratory mask for when I resurfaced.
And I’m glad you’re still here, too. Let’s rock!
GORELETS: UNPLEASANT POEMS
Pandemic Masks I Wish I Would Have Seen
- “Censored” Mask (a black bar that actually does bleep and then constricts the wearer’s throat, a la Darth Vader, until the wearer falls to his or her knees and weeps or dies, preferably on the floor of the US Capitol)
- 3D Dental Surgery Mask (with drill sound effect and real spit suction tube)
- “I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream” Mask (motherboard print; mask tortures the wearer while keeping them alive)
- Mask that Reads “In Case of Covid, Insert Barrel Here” (with arrow pointing to exposed hole)
- Squeezable Plasma Bag filled with Petri Dish Cultures
- Blood-spattered Venetian Blinds (with sliding rod)
- Deformed Eric Stoltz Mask lurking behind a Phantom Erik Mask behind the Classic White Phantom of the Opera Mask
- Vomiting Throat (with trick sprayer akin to squirting flower practical joke that lands precisely 6ft away)
- N-K9 Mask (breathing apparatus made of real dog)
- Cool Whip Beard
ARNZEN NEWS
I’m not about to try to play catch up. It’s been too long. If you’d like to find some of what you’ve missed, visit https://gorelets.com – which I rebooted in January (notice the fancy extra “s” in “https”). Though some of my website is still being retooled, the front page currently lists the status of various online projects you might have lost track of, and includes links to publications, events and much more. Still not sure whether to post more often to the blog, but like mold, it surely will grow, so I hope you’ll visit between newsletters from time to time.
ZOOMLAND
Like many writers, I’ve done more videoconferencing and streaming this year than ever before. I’ve tried to catch all of these efforts in playlists posted to YouTube, but here’s a compendium of links to some of my favorites over the past two seasons:
Visited By Voices Roundtable (March 2021) – an open horror genre talk alongside Ramsey Campbell, Brian Hodge, Mary Sangiovanni, Mark Allan Gunnells, doungjai gam, and (host) Lorne Dixon: https://youtu.be/o70oI90Ucpw
Fiction Reading at the International Vampire Film and Arts Festival (Oct 2020), hosted by poet Jeff Grieneisen of State College of Florida: https://youtu.be/JUm-92cW1PE
“Looking at the New Weird” - A Confluence Panel (Oct 2020) - a talk about the evolution of “weird tales” in the 21st century, alongside authors P. Djeli Clark, Martha Wells, and Rachel Swirsky https://youtu.be/huGqBNUcmVQ
Exploring Dark Short Fiction Chat with Postcards from a Dying World (Nov 2020), with series editor Eric J. Guignard, hosted by David Agranoff: https://youtu.be/6EpxralopZM
Arnzen Live - Interview with Lorne Dixon of Visited by Voices (Feb 2012): https://youtu.be/cCE6eYOPTRE
BOOKLAND
Most of the publishing news I have to share right now is leaked in those videos, but I want to call attention to two non-fiction releases of note:
First is that the next installment of the great Exploring Dark Short Fiction Series (#6) will cover the work of UK horror grandmaster Ramsey Campbell! Look for the release of it in late Spring/early Summer from Dark Moon Books. It contains a handful of selected works, a complete bibliography, an interview with the editor, an essay by the author… and I contribute mini-essays on each of the short stories included in these primers, along with a lengthy essay exploring why the author matters. Other volumes in the series I’ve contributed to as academic advisor include a diverse roster of greats: Steve Rasnic Tem, Nisi Shawl, Kaaron Warren, Jeffrey Ford and Han Song. They’re even available in fancy hardcovers! If you like short horror stories, you will love these. Collect them all!
http://www.darkmoonbooks.com/Primer_6.html
Secondly, news just leaked that I am writing the introduction to Tim Waggoner’s sequel to his massively successful guidebook for horror writers – a workbook for Writing the Dark! Look for this in the months to come from Raw Dog Screaming Press, and if you’re a horror writer who enjoyed my book, Instigation: Creative Prompts on the Dark Side, I know you’ll want to get your hands on Writing the Dark right now! You should also check out Tim’s blog on the craft, and his workshops related to horror writing on AllAccessCon. I taught at one of them last year! http://rawdogscreaming.com/books/writing-in-the-dark/
A LITTLE JOLT
ON HIS HEELS
I’m quite sorry to be the one to bear the bad news. But we have to let you go. We were lucky to have you as our in-house pest exterminator. A lot of places can’t say they have one of those, but you’ve been a true asset to our firm.
Your placement of traps has been uncannily successful. You have cleared out hundreds of flying insects, and I commend you for it. Even the boss, Mr. Cardick, despite his sneering demeanor, had the good graces to mentioned how clean the premises seem to be lately, without them. A good word from that codger is a badge of honor! You also have had the courtesy of working quietly, mostly in the dead of night when no one else can be troubled by seeing you perform your morbid job of eradicating the infestation of our building, removing so many blowflies and other annoying little bugs.
You’ve been an exceptionally hard worker, but beyond that, I would have to say that you have great networking skills, and I mean that in the truest sense. You also multitask eight times as well as our peers.
You are such an asset to the firm, it is a pity that I have to relieve you of your job. But the order comes from above. Mr. Cardick walked into one of your webs and has asked me to dispatch you, without notice. You were such a good coworker, Mr. Spider. I’m going to make this quick, with the heel of my shoe. But don’t worry about Mr. Cardick. The flies will still get him, and I promise it will be very, very soon. And then I will be the boss.
But I am sorry to report that, at present, there is unfortunately nothing further I can do for you, except remember you fondly, and borrow a few lessons from your playbook as I climb the corporate ladder.
Sorry, old chap. You are hereby – terminated.
MEET MIKE ARNZEN
The Uncanny & The Abject: Open for Enrollment!
Saturday, May 22, 5 P.M. EST
I’ll be offering a new (virtual) course for horror writers at StokerCon 2021! “The Uncanny and The Abject”: A Workshop in Disturbing the Reader
https://gorelets.com/arnzen-news/the-uncanny-the-abject-open-for-enrollment/
StokerCon 2021
May 20, 2021 - May 23, 2021
The annual gathering of horror writers and industry professionals goes virtual this year, full of panels, classes and presentations for creators working on the dark side. I’ll be there, doing a reading, and probably a panel or two, in addition to teaching a class as part of the Horror University program!
http://stokercon2021.com/
Like Sunshine - Online Book Launch Party
July 24, 2021 - Time TBA
Arnzen will join other contributors to Like Sunshine After Rain for an online reading at allaccesscon.com. The time and ticketing for this event on 7/24 are still being hashed out, but watch my events listing on gorelets for updates. Meanwhile, see news elsewhere in this issue to learn more about this anthology of creative positivity, benefiting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society…and look for a special lifetime discount on the con site!
National Poetry Month
I’ve been feeling the poetry vibe this April, and trying to keep National Poetry Month as dark as I’m able. I’ve been maintaining a blog entry to keep track of it all – https://gorelets.com/arnzen-news/napowrimo-2021/ – which will be updated throughout the month, but here’s some of my favorites so far…
The Five-Two: Michael A. Arnzen
I’ve been a long-time contributor to Gerald So’s Crime Poetry Weekly journal, and for his “April is the Cruelest Month” celebration, I provided the featured poem of the week on 4/5, called “The Thief Came in.” Read it at the journal… or listen to me read my poem on youtube!
https://poemsoncrime.blogspot.com/2021/04/michael-arnzen.html
COVER REVEAL: Like Sunshine After Rain from Raw Dog Screaming Press
Raw Dog Screaming Press and international award-winning editor Heidi Ruby Miller are taking pre-orders for the charity anthology LIKE SUNSHINE AFTER RAIN. Proceeds benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The beautiful cover is by Brad Sharp, whose work graces many of the “Dog Star” line of SF books put out from RDSP. Arnzen contributes a light hearted ode to his favorite beverage. A few hardcover collectibles remain available for preorder, and other editions as well.
http://rawdogscreaming.com/cover-reveal-like-sunshine-after-rain/
Instigation: Prompts About Masks
In my day job, I teach creative writing at Seton Hill University, and one of my many tasks is advising the campus literary magazine, Eye Contact. It’s been challenging to oversee an editorial staff during pandemic, to say the least. At the end of April, they are releasing a special theme issue on “Masks” for Spring 2021, so I made a list of related prompts for one of their workshops… And I thought I’d share it with you, too, in case you’re a creative writer looking for some extra Instigation…. Click below!
https://gorelets.com/instigation/instigation-prompts-about-masks/
Audio for National Poetry Month 2021
Here’s a list of random audio recitations of horror poetry I’ve been posting over twitter’s new “voice” feature, all in the name of #NaPoWriMo this April 2021.
https://twitter.com/i/events/1378143520670748673
Scream Free Week
Okay, so technically it’s called “Screen Free Week,” but on May 3-9th, you’ve got an excuse to step away from your devices and recharge the natural way: by UNplugging. It’s the perfect time to take a break from the electronic media screens you’ve become addicted to during the global pandemic and read a book (or you could interact with your family or go for a walk, I suppose) more often. Yes, you need to stay connected and work-for-home on devices till the world is repaired, and you’re “allowed” to do so this year, even if you pledge to join the campaign to unplug. But I dare you to step away for a week. It might change your life. Visit http://screenfree.org for more information.
And here’s a cute video trailer for a parodic children’s book on the subject (I just discovered there’s a whole subgenre of these kiddie books about breaking device addiction, to my chagrin!)
Boo Coupons
STRANGEHOUSE BOOKS
Strangehouse Books is generously offering you a special deal on the hardcover edition of Not All Monsters: A Strangehouse Anthology of Women in Horror, edited by Bram Stoker Award-winning poet, Sara Tantlinger, for just $45 dollars (including shipping & handling). Good for US residents only. Look to their newly updated website in May, and mention the code GORE when ordering. Or paypal your order directly to roosterrepublicpress@gmail.com and be sure to mention the code in your order.
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/55809484-not-all-monsters
WEIRDPUNK BOOKS
Goreletter readers can receive 20% off any order in the Weirdpunk Books Store (http://www.weirdpunkbooks.com) from now through April 23rd. Act quick! All you need to do is use the coupon code GORE when checking out. This sale applies to everything in the store aside from the bundles, the 2021 Sub Club and the 2020 Novella bundle, which are already discounted. (I recommend picking up Koch’s WINGSPAN OF SEVERED HANDS and Abram’s SHE WHO RULES THE DEAD). Expires 4/23/21.
https://www.weirdpunkbooks.com/
EXCESSION PRESS
Excession Press is offering Goreletter subscribers 20% off their book orders over $25 using the exclusive code LEVELUP at their web store at: https://excessionpress.bigcartel.com (A good starter might be Nicholas Day’s GRIND YOUR BONES TO DUST, which I enjoyed). Expires 6/6/21.
https://excessionpress.bigcartel.com/
ALL ACCESS CON
AllAccessCon was founded on the principle of making live events accessible to everyone regardless of their location, economic background, or disability… and not just during global pandemics. Fan events of every type including workshops, concerts, conferences, film festivals, readings, audience Q&A, job fairs, book clubs, and more are all now within your reach. I’ve participated in a few of their online events, and they’re amazing. As a subscriber to this newsletter, you can now get a lifetime VIP membership (which also includes access to event videos) for AllAccessCon at a 25% discount: https://py.pl/19tWlC. It’s normally $100 so that’s a $25 value!
HORROR UNIVERSITY
The Horror Writers Association is kindly offering Goreletter subscribers an exclusive discounted rate on enrollment in Horror University! The first 50 people to enter code BOOCOUP can receive 10% off their enrollment price. Note that this does NOT stack/apply if you are already receiving other discounts (for attending StokerCon or being a member of HWA, for example). A great way to participate in my class and others if you can’t join the rest of us at StokerCon!
https://horror-university.teachable.com/
The Contestatorium
I often will run contests or games on this newsletter, and since it’s been so long, this one’s the easiest of them all to enter. You already did by subscribing! But unless your name is Eric Bryan Moore, you didn’t win. Eric was randomly drawn from my first 300 subscribers and will receive a free signed copy of my crazy CD, Audiovile! Stick around for future opportunities to win stuff like this.
https://arnzen.bandcamp.com/
Pithy Morbid Thoughts
“All interest in disease and death is only another expression of interest in life.” – Thomas Mann (died 1955)
COLOPHON
Read the back issues (https://gorelets.com/repository/doku.php?id=goreletter:start) !
Copyright 2021, Michael A. Arnzen - All rights reserved
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ARCHIVE NOTES:
* Due to the temporary nature of internet URLs, some websites mentioned in back issues of the Goreletter may no longer be live, or may also point to unscrupulous web servers. I will try to denote these with overstrikes, red icons, and slashed globe icons as I discover them, but if you encounter a dead, changed or unscrupulous link, please feel free to inform me via email.
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