A Holiday Video for You
Posted inBlather

A Holiday Video for You

https://youtu.be/GMVbWDjZ9hY Here's a seasonal reading of my short-short, "All Naughty, No Nice" (from the book, Collected Christmas Horror Shorts Vol. 1), and my expression of well wishes to all my friends and readers as we wrap up one hell of a crazy year. Kudos to all of you reading this. You survived. May your 2022 by the year of something grand, something new. Happy Holidays, Mike Arnzen
December 22, 2021Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Top Ten Ways to Make Santa’s Naughty List

10. Playing "CSI: Dreamhouse" with your (or your sister's) Barbie dolls. 9. Telling Mommy she's "pretty" to her face and then adding the words "poor at parenting" as you walk out of the room. 8. Presuming that when you're "grounded" you're free to play with electrical outlets to your heart's content. 7. Texting while driving your Big Wheel on the freeway. 6. Skipping biology class so you can experiment directly on animals at the pet store without supervision. 5. Actually punching Hawaiians to get your hands on their branded juice box. 4. Festooning your bedroom with ropes of snot rather…
December 24, 2013Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Ten Contemplations on the Facebook Like Icon

1) Interesting. Everybody who "likes" me seems to be a latex glove fetishist. 2) I'm not pulling over, hitcher. I'm stepping on the gas. Oh no. Get out of the way! 3) Who's got your nose? 4) If this hand were bearing an unbuttoned sleeve, everything you liked would seem ...dirty. 5) The universal symbol for social approval in the 21st Century is a dismembered hand. I like that. But it's kind of overkill. Surely just a single digit would do. 6) A grammatical sin is committed by our passive acceptance of this plurality of "likes" -- that is, the…
January 30, 2013Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Snarky Retorts to Classic Horror Movie Lines

"It was beauty that killed the beast." "Yeah. That and the syphillis." "Don't bury me, I'm not dead yet." "Oh, no? Allow me..." (shovel to the neck) (Aiming finger at the head) "Braaaiiiins...!" (Aiming pistol at the head) "Buuuulllets...!" "In space no one can hear you scream." "Oh no? Where IS Earth, anyway? That's right. It's floating in space, you freaking idiot. Let's see if anyone can hear you scream when I press this hot iron into your underarm..." "We have such sights to show you." "Like what? Your butterfly collection? Please, please. Let me show YOU what acupuncture really…
April 8, 2012Posted inBlather1 Comment
Posted inBlather

Is the horror genre dead? Garth Marenghi has the answer.

That's Garth Marenghi above, responding to a question about whether the horror genre is dead. I did a spit take when I watched this (as I did with the rest of the DVD).  It's a childish response ("you are!") from a faux has-been in the genre.  I love it.  And yet there's some nugget of truth here, some wisdom to the comedy.  Genre critics have suggested that genres go through stages of evolution, with parody becoming the zenith of a genre (and a sign of its impending doom).  Garth Marenghi's Darkplace television series is to horror what Blazing Saddles was…
January 31, 2012Posted inBlather