Snarky Retorts to Classic Horror Movie Lines

“It was beauty that killed the beast.”
“Yeah. That and the syphillis.”

“Don’t bury me, I’m not dead yet.”
“Oh, no? Allow me…” (shovel to the neck)

(Aiming finger at the head) “Braaaiiiins…!”
(Aiming pistol at the head) “Buuuulllets…!”

“In space no one can hear you scream.”
“Oh no? Where IS Earth, anyway? That’s right. It’s floating in space, you freaking idiot. Let’s see if anyone can hear you scream when I press this hot iron into your underarm…”

“We have such sights to show you.”
“Like what? Your butterfly collection? Please, please. Let me show YOU what acupuncture really means.” (grabs head like a basketball and squeezes the pins deep)

“I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
“Beans! THAT explains the smell in here! I tht-tht-tht-tht-thought it was your breath.”

“When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.”
“There’s always the Holiday Inn next door. Competitive rates… and a cleaner pool!”

“Heeeerre’s Johnny!”
“Where? In the 1980s? Heeeere’s my palm.” (slap)

“I see dead people.”
“Yeah, yeah. They see you, too, kid. Don’t you get it? That’s your audience. They died of boredom.”

“I’m your Number One Fan.”
“Really? Because you smell like Number Two.”

“Long live the new flesh!”
“Viva your zits!”

“We all go a little mad sometimes…don’t you?”
“No, I go big mad when pervs like you peep at me in the shower.”

“Be afraid. Be very afraid.”
“Why? Becawse dare might be wabbits? Fear this, Fuddrucker.” (middle finger)

“Join us!”
“Can I use this nail gun to accomplish that?”

“Sometimes dead is better.”
“Better than what? Your grammar skills? You go die now, and we be all better, Idiotface.”