10. Playing “CSI: Dreamhouse” with your (or your sister’s) Barbie dolls.
9. Telling Mommy she’s “pretty” to her face and then adding the words “poor at parenting” as you walk out of the room.
8. Presuming that when you’re “grounded” you’re free to play with electrical outlets to your heart’s content.
7. Texting while driving your Big Wheel on the freeway.
6. Skipping biology class so you can experiment directly on animals at the pet store without supervision.
5. Actually punching Hawaiians to get your hands on their branded juice box.
4. Festooning your bedroom with ropes of snot rather than blowing your nose on the hankie you got last year for Christmas.
3. Writing your book report in thick black marker covering every page of the book you were supposed to “report on” with the words “HATE, HATE, HATE IT!”
2. Going commando when shopping for scout uniforms.
1. Sacrificing a goat instead of blowing out birthday candles.
