Posted inBlather

Grilling the Mermaid

I love women, and I enjoy fish, but for some reason I hate mermaids. They're some of the most horrifying of animal-human hybrids. I mean, they're scaly. And they smell -- well -- like fish! I don't care how good they are at singing and swimming and strategically arranging their lengthy hair, they're gross little monsters. Yet their legend endures. We still get slurred reports from drunken sailors who spot them in the seven seas. And little kiddies everywhere believe in Ariel, the so-called "Little Mermaid" (who isn’t little enough to step on, unfortunately). But get this straight: if mermaids…
May 21, 2004Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Geezer Gore

I was scanning the horror DVDs at the video store the other day, and after awhile, all the covers began to look the same to me. I worry that the horror film industry is falling for the same packaging mistakes that horror novels made in the 1980s: back then, every book was black with a skeleton on the cover. And it virtually killed the industry. Apparently such book buyers don't pay attention to author names, see all those skeletons on the covers and think they "already own that one." Nowadays almost every video case on the shelf has a fanged…
February 26, 2004Posted inBlather