Posted inBlather

Weird Juice

Stabble Fungalberry Kiweird Cocktail Poisonberry Phlegmonaid (With Extra Pulp) Embalmigranate Bashin' Berry Scabapple Scrape Juice Angerine Spineapple Strango Slaughtermelon Smoothie Crampelope Slimeade Neck Nectar Horrange Slitrus Lime Gaspberry Upchuck Cherry Slopical Punch Scarfruit Granbury Scarrot Leech
July 25, 2010Posted inBlather1 Comment
Posted inWeblog Exclusive

TWEET AT THE DEVIL

He's the geek screaming lonely in the night 'Cuz he can't reload the pa-ay-age He's the tear in your eye When you lose your Wi-Fi He's the hash in your tag He's faved And he's the fantasy wife That's wasting your life And spamming you to the ground But on the pages of Twitter We'll type and deliver Be short. And waste time... Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet at the Devil! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet at the Devil! He's the follower you hate And you won't reciprocate But he will not be ignore-or-ored He follows you to the grave When you…
June 12, 2010Posted inWeblog Exclusive1 Comment
Posted inGorelets: Unpleasant Poems

Don’t Stop Bleeding

Just a vampire girl Livin' in a zombie world She took the midnight train Goin' anywhere Just a city boy Dead and raised in south Detroit He took a bite of brain Goin' anywhere Find a human in a smoky room The smell of blood and cheap perfume For a lifetime they can share the night It goes on and on and on and on Strangers shuffling Up and down the boulevard Shadows searching In the night Undead people Living just to find emotion Feasting somewhere In the night Slurping hearts till the lust's fulfilled Everybody's out to kill Doin'…
January 18, 2010Posted inGorelets: Unpleasant Poems12 Comments
Posted inBlather

Return of the Son of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Cthulhu the Obscure A Connecticut Devil in King Arthur's Inferno The Golden Bowl of Blood The Isle of Dr. Moreau and Mr. Hyde As I Lay Resurrecting Creature from the Walden Pond Of Mice and Tentacles A Midsummer Night's Scream Jane Weyrewolf Oedipus Rex: The Boy With the X-Ray Eyes Uncle Tom's Cannibal Cabin A Poison Clockwork Orange Rabid Animal Farm Lord of the Giant Flies Clone King Richard the Thirtieth A Morgue of One's Own ** With irreverence for: Quirk Classics. [Update: The literati among you might also appreciate this essay at the 'Jane Austen's World' blog.]
October 12, 2009Posted inBlather
Posted inBlather

Classic Car Accident Ad Slogans

Have You Driven A F*rd Over A Stroller Lately? This Is Your Late Father's *ldsmobile. V*lvo. For Life Support. Killt F*rd Slough. Ch*vy. The Last Heartbeat of America. Chummer -- Like Nothing Else! Ponti*c. We Are Driving Excrement. Grab Life By The Horns. That Won't Stop Honking. Sa*b. Move Your Mind. Off My Lap. B*W. The Ultimate Chicken Machine. V*lkswagon. Drivers Haunted. Juice in Engineering. *udi. C*dillac. When You Turn Your Car Off, Does It Return The Favor? Unlike Any Other. Mortcedez Endz. B*ick. Drive Beautiful. Into Crowds. The All New Ch*vy. Built to Last Breath. H*nda. The Power Of…
June 14, 2009Posted inBlather